Page 17 of Dancing with a Ghost

“Really? I’d have thought a good-looking guy like you would have got all the girls.” He glanced over at me, a thoughtful look on his face. “Did you want to dance with them? The girls, I mean.”

How much to tell him? Would I get into trouble? I shook my head, just a subtle movement, not wishing to give too much away.

“Would you like to dance with me?” he asked, squeezing my hand. I forgot he was still holding it.

“I can’t. It’s not….right.” I couldn’t face him and rose from my chair. This was going to a place I wasn’t comfortable with.

“It is right and we can totally dance. Come on. Come with me.” He still held my hand and marched from the library, along a narrow corridor I’d not been down before. Considering I’d spent the best part of a century here, it was like a rabbit warren, and before long, we were in the large ballroom.

I’d been here before. I’d watched Toby dance, both on his own and with others in here. I’d gazed on enviously, wishing it could have been me and now here he was, offering me the chance to dance with him.

Dare I take the chance?

He let go of my hand and walked behind a screen. “Hang on. I’m just putting some music on. I think you’ll like this one.”

In daylight, the ballroom was beautiful. The walls were cream and gold in colour, a glittering chandelier hung from the ceiling. Unlit candles held in golden wall sconces. The rich oak wooden floor was sprung, just like the old dance floors.

A couple of moments later, the sound of Moonlight Serenade spilled from the speakers around the room. This was the music I’d heard at the wedding yesterday and it reminded me of times gone by.

He walked over to me, holding out his hand.

“Would you like to dance, Matthias? With me.” He smiled then, that crooked smile that was so endearing, so very cheeky too, and I nodded. Of course, I wanted to dance with him.

I was hesitant, not having done this before with another man, but he made me feel comfortable, feel like it wasn’t so wrong. I took his hand, and there was that familiar tingle, that spark that seemed to ignite my body every time we touched.

He placed his arm around my back, gently pulling me closer. We fit perfectly, his body aligned with mine. It felt very right, and I relaxed into him, placing a tentative hand on his waist, and as the music continued, he led me around the floor.

I fumbled, tripped over his feet and mine, but after a while, we found our rhythm, both of us swaying in time to the music. As the song continued, he placed his lips to my ear and hummed. I’d never experienced an intimacy like this, not with anyone, and it made me feel things I’d never felt before.

I lost myself to the music, feeling my confidence grow as we danced. My emotions bubbled below the surface, threatening to spill over. His unique scent filled my senses, a woodsy, citrusy scent.

It was perfection itself.

The song played a second time but neither of us wanted to stop as we made our way around the floor. A strange kind of peace spread through me and I felt myself growing stronger by the minute, the bond we had becoming more intense. This is what she promised. This is what she said I needed to find. I know it was.

More memories flooded my mind. Lying in the hospital bed, a doctor talking to me, telling me it would soon be time for me to go home. Go home to my family. My time in the war was done, but that night, she’d come to me. It was my time. Time for me to help her ascend.

Ascend to what? To where?

Irritatingly, the memory faded, leaving me with those whispered words and distorted memories, frustratingly out of reach.

“Hey, why’d you stop?” I wasn’t aware I had. Toby held my hand and stroked my face with his other. Again, a closeness I’d never experienced before.

“Just memories. Words and images that mean nothing. Why can’t I remember, Toby?” I released his hand and turned away from him, getting more and more annoyed with myself. None of this had mattered until recently, until I’d started to appear to Toby and now, it was all I could think about. All I stressed about.

Answers were what I needed and as much as I was enjoying my time with Toby, I had to go, find my quiet place to try and at least make sense of the visions that were plaguing me.

“Please don’t go, Matthias. Just one more dance with me.”

“I….can’t. I have to go.”

“But you’ll be back? There’s so much more I want to talk to you about.”

“I will. I promise…..and thank you for the dance.” I hadn’t known it could be like that, that two men could be together in such a way, and it gave me some sort of hope for the future. “Just a little time is all I’m asking. Time for me to think away from all these distractions. I hope you understand.”

“I do. It can’t be easy for you. So much overload these past few days. People, information, noise. I completely understand.”

I let myself go, the echoes of the music in my ears. I’d remember this for a long time. Even if we couldn’t complete our bond, this moment would stay with me. I just hoped I had a lifetime.

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