Page 3 of A Photo Finish
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for them. As much as it makes me roll my eyes to admit it, they’re kind of sweet together. And Billie is good for my little brother. But the two of them are just so much fucking sunshine and rainbows that you almost need sunglasses to be in their presence. And ear plugs. The talking never stops.
I groan just thinking about how little peace I’m going to get at Gold Rush Ranch.
I think about riding along the trails with my dad. I think about the way we laughed together, the way he smiled at me me, and his passion for horse racing. How happy he always looked when he saw me up on a horse, how happy I always was to spend time with him. And then, as I make the turn onto the side road that takes me there, I think abouther.
That’s going to be trickier to deal with than the rest. I should have kept my cards closer. I shouldn’t have lost control like that. I could have maintained my anonymity. But when I saw the face that’s haunted me every night for the past year, the one I’ll never forget, all beaming and pure and carefree, I did what I always do.
I ruined it.
Pristine white paper, and I purposely knocked ink all over it. Black liquid oozing out, marring the unmarked page.
I’ve spent an entire year since that race avoiding her at all costs. I dropped an atomic bomb on the girl and then walked away. Very on-brand for me.You’re such a fucking dick.
My fingers pulse on the steering wheel, and my molars grind against each other as anxiety builds in my chest. I see the Gold Rush Ranch sign swaying on its chains just in front of the manicured tree-lined driveway. I snort. This place isn’t a ranch anymore. It’s a world-class horse racing facility and a far cry from what my grandparents started out with.
So much history.
I shouldn’t be coming out here to this place filled with memories that haunt me and people who don’t understand me. And who never will because I don’t plan to let them.
But I promised the board of directors at Gold Rush Resources, the other family company, that I would take the new acquisition we picked up in the next town over and turn it around. I told them I wouldn’t come back until it was running a profit. And in this moment, I can’t fathom why I’d have made a promise like that.
I pull into the circular driveway and look around at the property. I have to give it to Vaughn; the place is immaculate. The horses, the fencing, the flowers even. He took over a year ago now, and the place has flourished. I hate to admit there’s a little part of me that wishes he’d come back to the offices in downtown Vancouver. I kind of like having him around.
Instead, he started a whole new life for himself out here, and I’m almost envious of his ability to just completely recreate himself while I keep living in the same rut, snuggled up in the mud that spinning my tires has created.
My eyes flutter shut, and I take a deep, centering breath, the heel of my hand digging into my right thigh as I try to find some inner calm. Deep breathing is something my therapist recommended. I told her it sounded like hippie, New Age garbage. She just gave me a blank look—she knows me too well. Which means she probably knows I’ve secretly been trying it, and it’s working, so we won’t have to talk about it as a coping mechanism again.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Hey, big bro! You taking a nap? I know you’re old, but this is a bit much.”
If I pretend that Billie Black isn’t here, will she disappear? Like an annoying figment of my imagination I can wish away on command?
I pry my eyes open and slowly turn my gaze on her. I give her my best withering look. One that sends most people running. She just smiles back at me even bigger.Certifiable.
Billie barks out a laugh and turns away, waving me along. “When you’re back on your feet, Vaughn’s in his office.”
I already hate working at Gold Rush Ranch.
* * *
“You looklike you’re going to kill someone.”
I scowl back at Vaughn across his desk as I flop into a chair. “I feel like I might.”
He quirks an eyebrow. “Why?”
“You know I don’t like it up here.”
“I do. But the new mine is in Hope . . . Why didn’t you look for a place there?”
I scrub my hand across my face. Vaughn has always been so full of questions. I remember him trailing after me asking them incessantly, and with five years between us, I wasn’t much into explaining things like why the lettercso often makes aksound.
It seems unnecessarily cruel to tell him I tried every option available to me, only to find there’s not much in the way of long-term rentals in the small town. Seems like you either live there, or you don’t. And I wasn’t about to buy a house in a shitty town or stay with the cockroaches at the Motor Inn just to satisfy my promise to the board.
“This commute is pretty short. You’ve got an empty office here. Seemed like the obvious choice.” That should appease him.
Vaughn smirks. “Just admit it.”
