Page 85 of A Photo Finish
I keep my eyes trained on the door as I say it. My escape route. Because if I look at Cole right now, I’ll go back to him.
I’ll wrap him in my arms. I’ll kiss him.
I’ll forgive him.
And that’s not what either of us needs right now.
* * *
I haven’t slept.I haven’t cried either. I’ve just thought. I laid in my bed all night thinking. About Cole, about his scars, his insecurities, about his trauma. And about me and mine, too. About how mad I am at him, and about how my heart bleeds for him.
I don’t want us to be over. But I need him to be the one to take that step. And if he can’t get over my chosen career path, then we weren’t meant to be. I’m not folding to make another overbearing man in my life happy anyway. It’s not even on the table.
“That’s not the new Violet,” I mutter to myself, staring into my coffee cup in the staff room, wishing I could hook it up to myself with some sort of IV drip. I should talk to Mira about that possibility.
“Hi, New Violet,” Mira says as she marches in, like I willed her into existence, and grabs herself a mug. She’s obviously oblivious to what went down yesterday.
“Funny,” I deadpan.
“What was old Violet like?” She stirs her coffee with a smile on her full lips.
I groan. “Meek. A pushover.”
“Maybe you’re not new. Maybe you’re just growing. Nobody stays the same. New goals, new experiences . . . they’re all building blocks that put a person together. Constantly shifting.”
“Are you a doctor of philosophy or veterinary medicine?” She laughs and takes a sip of her coffee. “You’re in a good mood. What’s wrong?”
Her feline gaze peeks over her mug at me as she grins. “I’m always in a good mood.”
“You’re not usually this talkative.”
“Sometimes I learn more by listening.”
“You scare me a little bit.”
She throws her head back and laughs. “I’m in a good mood because I just came from a meeting with Vaughn and your boyfriend. They’re going to be building a clinic here on the farm for me to work out of. Not enough quality facilities around, so apparently they’re expanding into their own.”
I smile, and it’s genuine. I couldn’t be happier for Mira. “That’s amazing! Congratulations . . . But he’s not my boyfriend.”
She scoffs and tops her coffee. “He looks just as shitty as you. Actually,” she peers at me closely, “worse. The man’s got it bad. What did you do to him?”
“What didIdo tohim? Why is everyone taking his side?”
“No one is taking his side, Violet. I just know you’re strong. And yeah, that man might fill out a T-shirt like it was painted onto him, and he could probably bench press me, but he’s in pain. It’s written all over him—even before you guys had your little spat. I diagnose animals who don’t talk for a living. He’s basically the same thing. Trust me.”
I laugh and then look at her seriously. “You think I’m strong?”
“I do. And you shine bright. Bright enough that a man like that might need you to light his way.”
26
Violet
The flannel blanketis soft beneath me, and the stars are bright up above me. Most of the horses have been tucked into their stalls for the night, but we’re still lying out amongst all the paddocks, down by the furthest one that backs onto the fields—the one DD used to be kept in.
“Is this really how you spent your first night on the farm, Billie?”
“Yup. Pass the wine.”
