Page 17 of Taming Raptor

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I blew out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, then tucked the card back in the box and closed the lid. A quick glance at the dusty old alarm clock on the nightstand told me it was still early. Maybe I hadn’t missed him yet. I set the box down. Quietly, I let myself out and made my way to the common area. Disappointment drooped my shoulders when he wasn’t there.

“He’s gone. Left about an hour ago,” Blade said from his place at the bar. He was drinking and I arched a brow at the glass.

“It’s not day drinking if you haven’t gone to bed yet,” he replied to my unspoken question before lifting the glass to his lips. He set it down and turned his barstool to face me. “Besides, it’s mostly water now.”

“Mmm,” was my noncommittal reply before I took the glass and emptied it in one swallow.

“You sure you know what you’re doing?”

Unprepared, I practically gagged at the taste of pure Patron. I knew better than to believe him, but I didn’t dare show him that the burn from the tequila might’ve set my throat on fire.

“If it’s good enough for your breakfast, it’s good enough for mine.” I shrugged and gave him a wink.

“That’s not what I’m talking about, and you damn well know it.”

I sighed, stood on the brass foot rail, and reached over the bar to snag the bottle I knew he’d been drinking from. Not in the mood for a lecture, I filled the glass halfway and downed it too, trying not to cough. Then I replaced some for him and slid the glass in front of him.

“I’m a big girl, Blade. Now, don’t let me stop you from your breakfast of champions,” I teased as I got up off of the stool.

Quick as a snake striking, he grabbed my arm. Startled and a little taken aback, I glanced down at his inked fingers wrapped around my arm with the pale silky fabric peeking between them. “I know you, Sage. And I know you’ve been half in love with him since the first night you saw him. He’s not that guy—he’s never going to give you what you want from him.”

I scoffed but I didn’t have a quick-witted answer. Somewhere in the clubhouse a toilet flushed and there were muted voices as those who stayed the night in the clubhouse came to life. “You’re wrong, Blade. I don’t believe in love.”

“I think that’s a lie, but I don’t expect you to admit it. I’m just worried about you. If you get hurt, there’s not a damn thing I can do about it without going against one of my brothers.” The frown that marred his forehead made me feel guilty. I smoothed it with my fingertips.

“Don’t worry. There aren’t any feelings in play here and I’m not like some of the club girls that are chasing a patch. I’m just a stripper, right? I know my place,” I replied with a self-deprecating smirk. What I didn’t add was that the reality of my position did bother me.

Because I was a big, fat liar.

There were so many feelings in play that I was drowning in them.

“Hold On To Memories”—Disturbed

I’d made the trip to Texas with Voodoo and Phoenix for partially selfish reasons. I sure as hell hadn’t planned on it, but the timing was right, as in coincidentally perfect. It would mean I wouldn’t need to make the trip alone. The morning before, my mom had called to tell me my grandfather had died.

While Voodoo focused on his ritual to see what he could gather about the chick we came down to investigate, I had rolled a joint and decided to take a few hours to myself. If I was going to follow through with my plan, I was gonna need it. Phoenix decided to grab a drink.

I’d seen the perfect spot when we’d gone out to eat after arriving and getting checked into our hotel. If there had been a way to the roof of the hotel, I might’ve tried that. Since there wasn’t, I walked down the road and into the small park. Inside, my inner hawk was trembling with excitement, while I remained unmoved. It had been years—more than I could count—since he’d stretched his wings. Trying to prepare myself for what was to come, I skirted the playground equipment, keeping to the shadows the best I could.

“Fuck,” I whispered as I closed my eyes searching for strength and inner peace. When that didn’t work, I dug in my pocket for the joint I’d stuffed in there. My hands trembled when I tried to get the lighter to produce a fucking flame. Finally, I got it lit and took a hit. Then another—and maybe a few more.

Once I was as calm as I was gonna get without passing out, I pinched off the lit end and ensured I was still alone. Satisfied it was safe, I slipped into the deep shadows of the small, wooded border that separated the little oasis from the rest of the hustle and bustle. During the day, it probably wasn’t much for privacy, but it worked for me in the dark.

Quickly, I undressed and neatly folded my jeans, socks, and boots, then I placed them under a bush and covered them with old leaves. My shirt and boxer briefs, I rolled tightly around my phone and secured them with an elastic hair tie I’d never gotten away from carrying with me. The cool night air sent a shiver clean through to my soul as my hawk practically trembled in anticipation. Knowing it wouldn’t do to get caught in a park with my dick swinging, I crouched.

The excruciating pain stole my breath, and I dropped my head. Muscles tensed, I could not only feel, I could hear the bones shifting and resetting in their new pattern. The tattoos on my body seemed to bleed and every surface of my skin darkened before I was covered in the sleek brown and white feathers of my red-tailed hawk.

Headlights flashed and my gaze darted to the police cruiser I hadn’t seen pull up. It must’ve been when I was transitioning. Awkwardly, I flew up to a tree branch, banging into a few smaller ones as I did, and sat still as the beams of their flashlights scanned the tree line.

Stop fighting me. Full of haughty disdain, my hawk chastised me.

Goddamn, give me a break, it’s been a while.

Well, whose fault is that?

Shut up.

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