Page 10 of Love Notes

“On purpose?” Mom asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well,” I drawled, “it was meant to get my attention, but his aim was off, and he hit me square in the face.”

“And your part in all this was?” My father asked.

“Um . . . The impact kind of blinded me for a moment. I was so surprised, and it hurt pretty bad, so I stumbled my way toward him.”More like loped my way in an angry rage.“And I intended to shove him, but somehow my hands went around his neck instead.” I winced. “Probably because I was squinting and couldn’t see very well.”

Wow. I was really winning at this lying thing.

“You’re trying to say youaccidentallytried to choke him?” My mother asked, brows raised.

I hesitated. This sounded like a trick question. One that could get me into more trouble.

“It was more like a playful shove in the trachea.” I held out a finger. “Also an accident.”

My parents glanced at each other, and I swore for a moment, I saw a spark of amusement, like they both wanted to burst out laughing. And if this were five years ago, maybe they would’ve. But not anymore. They found humor in nothing, least not with each other, which extended to me as well. Because wasn’t I a part of both of them, an amalgamation of their love? I was merely a reminder of what once was. Nowadays, if one was happy, the other was automatically mad. If one was hot, the other was cold. When one was hungry, the other lost their appetite. It was exhausting. Most days I wondered how they were still standing.

“Mr. Bell said he handled it and that the two of you are doing a peer remediation project?” Dad asked, and really, the project was perfect because judging by his rigid stance, he wanted to punish me. And Dad’s “go-to” had always been grounding me, something he couldn’t entirely do if I needed to meet up with Carson to work on the project, and if I just so happened to run into Ethan on the way, well . . .

“Yeah.” I stepped forward, smiling. “Actually, that’s where I’m headed now. We’re working on the Lakeview Angel Program and the Angel Tree for Christmas.” I dropped my gaze to my wrist a moment too late, realizing I hadn’t worn my watch today. I shook my arm uselessly. “Uh, I was supposed to leave five minutes ago.”

Dad sighed and glanced to Mom one last time. “Fine. But I’m going to call Mr. Bell in a week and make sure you’re doing everything required of you.”

Just when I thought I’d gotten off easy, he said, “And no going out for the next two weeks, other than to work on the project. It’s school, the project, and your room. Got it?”

I nodded mutely.

“That seems a bit harsh,” Mom said. “Look at her face, and I’m sure if she’s not doing what’s expected, Mr. Bell will give us a call.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Penny. I forgot. We should just let our daughter get away with assaulting other kids. Great parenting.”

“She’s best friends with his brother, I highly doubt—”

“Yeah, speaking of which, I was never fond of how you thrust those two together. She’s an eighteen-year-old girl. Her best friend should be another girl.”

Here we go again . . .

Mom snorted. “What is this, 1940? She can’t be best friends with a boy? According to you, the opposite sexcanjust be friends and coworkers. Or, are you just blowing smoke?”

“Of course, you’re going to turn this around . . .”

With a resigned sigh, I hurried from the room, letting the sound of their arguing float away, fading into the distance.

It was amazing how good I’d gotten at blocking them out.

Chapter 5

CARSON

Idrovethefamiliarbackstreets of Lakeview as I made my way home from a swim meet while my thoughts churned over the day’s events. By most standards, getting sent to the principal’s office was a bad day, but for me, getting sent to the principal’s office with Mia Randalls was as good as it gets. Sucks she got hurt, though. I never meant to hit her in the eye, especially not that hard. The fact that she thinks I did was one more strike against me on a long, long list I’m sure she painstakingly curated over the years. It was probably entitledReasons I Hate Carson Brooksand included footnotes, highlights, and plenty of examples for reference. Because the Mia I knew didn’t do anything halfway. She strove for perfectionism in all things.

But when it came to Mia, I never seemed to win, so what did I expect? All I’d meant to do was get her attention. When I saw her in the halls this morning, she’d seemed more subdued than usual, upset. Of course, I couldn’t ask Ethan what was up, even though I wanted to. He was insanely tight-lipped with me when it came to Mia. Probably because I was enemy number one. Not that I blamed him. Still, it made it hard to siphon information when he immediately turned on the defensive. Fast forward to gym class, and I had no idea what she’d been discussing with Harper as they’d circled laps around the gymnasium, but whatever it was had etched a frown onto her face and a furrow in her brow.

So I threw the ball, hoping to catch her off-balance, hoping she’d catch it, or at worse, that it’d hit her on the arm and draw her attention so I could flash her a crooked grin. She’d roll her eyes, and we’d exchange a few seconds of witty banter (if not adorably hateful on her part), and she’d go on her merry way, momentarily distracted from whatever plagued her.

But she turned at the last minute, and my aim was off. Hence the ball to the pumpkin, and her hands around my throat.

I reached a hand up to my neck and rubbed. I could still remember the feel of her tiny hands squeezing. The way my skin prickled with goosebumps. The feel of my pulse thrumming beneath her fingers. Maybe it was sick and twisted, but all I wanted to do in that moment was dip my head down to meet her and plunder her mouth with mine.

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