Page 63 of Hate Notes

“Topher.” He moved closer, lowering his voice like we were conspirators. “The path for his future is a very clear one. He’ll graduate at the top of his class, go to UVA, then take over responsibilities in the family business.”

He stared straight ahead at the pool while he tucked his hands into his pockets. “It’s where he belongs. Dreaming about anything else is a waste of time.”

I bristled at his words. The way he talked about Topher with such disregard for what he wanted was completely in line with the things Topher told both me and Julie about his father, and I hated that he had to live with a man who had so little respect for his son.

“I think Topher can decide for himself what he wants.”

He turned to me, the cool blue of his eyes assessing me in a new light while they flickered over my face. A tiny puff of air escaped his lips. “I can’t believe it. You’re Ewe’s daughter, aren’t you?”

My cheeks burned.

He scoffed, then scrubbed a hand over his clean-shaven jaw, and when the scent of his expensive aftershave hit me, I wanted to vomit. “Leave it to Topher to fall for a girl from Hillbrook.”

I swallowed and pushed my shoulders back. I refused to be embarrassed of my father and my upbringing, and just as I was ready to defend myself, he added, “You’re to stay away from my son.”

“Excuse me?” My heart thumped.

“I won’t tolerate anyone putting silly ideas in his head about being some low-class water polo coach, let alone someone of your caliber.”

I made a choking noise, unable to believe my ears. “And if I don’t?”

“If you don’t,” he said slowly, his tone hard as stone, “your father might find himself without a job.”

My mouth parted to speak, but the words stuck in my throat, too astonished to say anything at all.

“Are we clear?” he asked.

He couldn’t be serious. “My father is one of your hardest workers.”

He shrugged. “He’s just one guy. There are hundreds more standing in line to take his place.”

His words stabbed in my chest. I’d felt like an imposter in the halls of Lakeview almost every day for years, but hearing someone refer to my father that way—indispensable, irrelevant, invisible—hurt me in ways I couldn’t explain. And I knew as I stood there, staring into Mr. Elliot’s eyes, that I'd never be good enough. Not for Topher or anyone else from Lakeview. Not as long as they saw me as less than.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Topher shake hands with the man in the glasses before he started toward me with one final glance at the now-empty stands as if Julie might materialize out of thin air.

I took a step back as Mr. Elliot walked around me, heading for his son just as Gabby and Xia appeared and joined them. They hurried to Topher’s side, smiling as his father sidled up next to them, and they all laughed at something he said.

My throat constricted, but I swallowed back my rising emotion and took a long look at them because this was reality. I’d never fit in. Topher belonged with someone like Gabby and Xia. Someone like the fictional version of Julie. Someone pretty and popular. Someone who lived in Lakeview or one of the other affluent cities. Not the shy, awkward girl with a nonexistent social life from Hillbrook.

As much as it hurt to admit, I did like Topher. But he liked someone else, and that someone else was me; he just didn’t know it. But what would he do when he found out?

After I left Topher’s game, I drove around Lakeview. Dad wasn’t expecting me home until much later, so I had the time to spare since the whole Julie revelation went to crap.

I slowly passed by the towering, brick mansions with their inground pools and five-car garages. Pristine landscaping bordered the homes with plush blankets of grass the color of emeralds, all of which were likely tended to by my father on behalf of Elliot Landscaping. Laughter reverberated through my open window from the backyard of one of the homes, but other than that, the street and yards were mostly empty. It was the opposite of my neighborhood that seemed to brim with life. Dogs lounging in yards, kids riding bikes and playing in the street while their parents manned grills in their driveways.

Leave it to Topher to fall for a girl fromHillbrook.

His father’s words clanged around in my head as I returned to my side of town and observed it with fresh eyes. Most of the small homes were in serious need of maintenance. Instead of Porsche and Mercedes dotting the road, old, rusted-out models sat in crumbling driveways. Half of the properties didn’t have landscaping, and the lawns had long since been scorched from the summer heat. No one had the time or money for water sprinklers, fertilizer, or fresh flowers.

When I finally pulled into my driveway, I wondered whether Mr. Elliot was right, and I couldn’t help but hate myself for it. Maybe Topher was better off with the life he had mapped out for him. It would certainly be easier, wouldn’t it? Work for his father, take over the business and marry someone like Gabby that was already groomed for that kind of life.

With a deep breath, I pushed my shoulders back, exited my car, and headed inside to the sound of screaming. I kicked my shoes off inside the doorway, and when Dad saw me, he paused the TV and the screaming stopped. “Wanna join us? Sara and I are watching Jaws.”

I hesitated. I wasn’t really in the mood for company, but he must’ve sensed my reluctance because he lifted the bowl between them and shook it. “We have popcorn with M&Ms.”

I offered him my best smile, then nodded toward the screen as I said, “Fine, but when Sara cries tonight because she’s scared, I’m sending her to you.”

“I won’t get scared,” Sara said indignantly, and I laughed because we both knew she was full of it.

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