Page 107 of Someone For Everyone

Once outside, Kate headed down the garden path, turning occasionally to check he was still following her. Part of herwondered if she was hallucinating and he wasn’t really there. But he was. In the flesh. Within touching distance. It was almost too much for her pathetic heart to bear.

The garden was lit up with strings of solar lights running down the ivy-covered walls and across the pergolas. Several people were gathered outside, despite the chill of the night, and it was hard to find a private spot, so she took him inside the summer house at the bottom of the garden, hoping it might be the one place they could be assured of privacy.

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ she said, shutting the door and turning to him.

‘Are you angry I came?’ His face was cast in shadows, but she could see his uncertainty.

‘Of course not. But I am a little puzzled. I haven’t heard from you since… well, you know.’

He stepped towards her. ‘Christmas night?’

She felt herself blush.

‘I haven’t heard from you either,’ he said, softly.

Her eyes drifted to the floor. ‘I thought it was best. You know, a clean break, and all that.’

‘I wondered if you regretted it.’

‘Of course not.’ Her head shot up, making her earrings sway. ‘How could I? It was… magical.’

He stepped closer and took her hands. ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I miss you.’

‘I miss you, too,’ she admitted, her eyes tearing up a little.

‘I hate the idea of you not being in my life.’

And just like that, the bubble burst, sending waves of sharp pain searing through her. She stepped away, sliding her hands from his, even though every instinct she had urged her to hold tight and never let go. ‘The thing is, Calvin. I’m not sure that’s what I want.’

His face fell. ‘It’s not?’

She shook her head. ‘It’s too painful. It was fine in the beginning, because I didn’t have feelings for you, but now I do. I want to be there for you, really I do, and maybe if I was in a better place mentally, I’d be able to put aside my feelings and just be your friend. But I have to consider my own wellbeing, and the idea of seeing you and not being… you know,withyou… is too much to bear.’

It was a long excruciating moment before he spoke. ‘You think I just want to be friends?’

She blinked away tears. ‘Isn’t that what you’re asking me?’

‘No.’ He stepped towards her. ‘Well, yes… I do want to be friends, but I also want more than that. I want to bewithyou,’ he said, taking her hands again.

She shook her head. ‘You can’t do. It’s not logical.’ She tried to remove her hands, but he wasn’t letting go.

‘What’s logic got to do with it?’

‘You and me… we’re not a match.’

He looked crestfallen. ‘What makes you think that?’

‘You’re gorgeous, and sexy, and famous. You could have any woman you want.’

‘I want you.’ He pulled her closer.

‘Only because you’re bruised and wounded from a run of bad luck.’ She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, looking gorgeous, and upset, and utterly confused. ‘Soon you’ll be back on your feet and making a success of your life. I’m unbelievably glad you’ve decided to stay in Kent, as I know everyone at Rose Court will be delighted, and I wish you every happiness in the world, really I do. But let’s be honest, I’m not the woman you’d choose if you were in a better place.’

‘Why would you say that?’

She opened her eyes. ‘Because I’m a mess. I’m homeless, skint, divorced, and I suffer with chronic anxiety. You can do so much better than me—’

He took her face in his hands and kissed her. The sudden shock sent waves of heat racing through her, and the air was sucked out of her lungs with a whoosh. Dizziness engulfed her as the room began spinning on its axis, as her senses were overloaded with the taste of him, the scent of him and the feel of his warm hands caressing her face. It was too much. The tenderness of his lips touching hers threatened to take her knees out from under her.

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