Page 57 of Lost in the Dark

As for the other scary thing in my life, Callister, I’m not sure where things stand. If he’s been visiting my dreams, he hasn’t revealed himself. And he hasn’t materialized in corporeal form since the night Evan died, after disappearing before the police arrived to take my statement.

It’s frustrating, because I’m the one who asked for space, but I miss him. On one hand, I feel like I barely know him, because we spent so little time together when I was awake. On the other, dreams are real for him, and we were together a lot in his realm.

My feelings for him are confusing, because I know he didn’t mean to hurt me. And he isn’t human, which means he might not understand why his actions were wrong. So there’s no guarantee he won’t do it again.

But maybe he’s worth it.

I want him to be worth it.

Fuck it, I just want him.

“Callister, if you hear or sense me, please appear. I want to talk to you.” I feel silly speaking to my empty apartment, but I don’t really know how to contact the King of Nightmares. He’s always the one who comes to me.

I sit down and wait, and it doesn’t take long before he appears. He’s in what I’ve come to assume is his natural form, all gray and silver and spiky. For the first time, he doesn’t look powerful and confident. He seems a bit…tentative?

“You summoned me?” he says.

“I did.”

He waits a moment, but I don’t speak. “Why?” he finally asks.

“I’m not sure. I missed you.”

He smiles, his handsome features lighting up. “I missed you as well. Does this mean you are ready to return to our dreams?”

I shake my head. “No. I’m not entirely surewhatthis means. Like I said, I missed you. But I also don’t feel like I truly know who and what you are.”

He shrugs. “I’m anything. I’m everything. I am monster and man. I am panic and passion. But most of all, I am yours. If you will have me.”

That makes something inside me feel shimmery. I know I compared him to Evan, but they aren’t alike. Evan truly was a monster. Callister is just a Nightmare King trying to figure out how to understand a human.

His statement carries a lot of weight. But it’s not enough.

“I don’t know how to trust you.”

“That’s fair,” he says. “Human values and ethics are foreign to me, and I cannot change what I am. All I can do is try to treat you well. Try to learn. If you will show me.”

Isthatenough?

“I’ve never had a normal romantic relationship before. Evan was my first boyfriend—if you can call him that—and after that went so spectacularly wrong, I shied away from them completely. I’m not even sure I know what a healthy relationship is,” I say.

“Is that what you want with me? A romantic relationship?”

I blink. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Yes, of course. But I have never had what you would characterize as a normal relationship either. I am a monster king, surrounded by lesser demons. There is no one in my realm suited to be queen, and before you, I was never interested in humans romantically.”

He pauses for a moment, then resumes. “I know how to take you to the Nightmare Realm, how to explore dreams with you. I could make you a queen. I could give you pleasure and let you play in the dreams of others. But I don’t think that’s what you want, and I don’t know what else I have to offer you.”

His words break my heart. I’m certain he has a lot to offer, but he doesn’t realize it. He sees himself as this one-dimensional being with a single purpose, and maybe, compared to humans, he is. He doesn’t have a family, or hobbies, or interests, really. Just his job. But I know there’s more to him, that he can grow. That he can become more. He keeps demonstrating that.

I just have to decide if I’m willing to give him the chance.

“You’re not only the King of Nightmares,” I tell him. “You’re caring, you can be kind, you helped me when Evan came to kill me. You tried to protect me in your own way, by shielding me from the nightmares that plagued me. And you’re sexy. The times we had together, even if they were just dreams…” I blush and take a breath. “They were the best I’ve ever had.”

A little smirk forms on his face. Monster he may be, but he’s still male and men like to be praised for their prowess.

“You enjoyed our dreams together?”

---