Page 53 of Merrily Ever After
‘Oh girls. That’s the best possible wedding present I could have,’ I said, blinking away tears.
Fliss swooped in quickly with some eye make-up remover. ‘Panda eyes alert!’
Cesca handed me a tissue. ‘We’d better promise not to say anything too soppy on your wedding day in case we all end up blubbing.’
I blew my nose. ‘My emotions are all over the place.’
‘We did notice,’ said Cesca gently.
‘Of course they are,’ Fliss soothed. ‘I was the same when I got married.’
‘Understatement,’ Cesca snorted. ‘You locked yourself in the loo and refused to come out because you claimed you’d changed your mind. My poor brother-in-law was green with worry.’
‘I am having a bit of a wobble about the wedding,’ I admitted.
‘Oh, love.’ Cesca rubbed my arm and sat down next to me.
Fliss sat down too. ‘Come on. Out with it. And whatever it is, I’m sure we can sort it out.’
‘It’s Harley and Freya.’ I took a deep breath, trying to decide how much to tell them. ‘The children have only been back in the UK since August and they’ve had a lot of change to contend with,’ I said. ‘I’m wondering if we should push the wedding back for a while until I’m sure it’s the right thing to do for everyone.’
‘Nooo!’ Fliss looked horrified. ‘Kids love weddings. Well, kids loveparties, and a wedding is basically just a really expensive party.’
‘My advice is to make them feel part of it, involve them,’ Cesca suggested.
‘Freya is your bridesmaid, so let Harley take charge of something too,’ added Fliss. ‘The music maybe, and if it’s not inappropriate, maybe he can help with the drinks at the reception?’
‘Good tips,’ I said, forcing a smile. ‘But it’s the marriage I’m more concerned about. Their father will bemarryingme and I’m not sure if they’re ready to accept us becoming a permanent arrangement.’
A memory of Freya’s wish to Santa came to mind, but I said nothing. It felt too painful to admit, even to my friends.
‘Haven’t they been separated for years?’
I nodded. ‘But I’m Cole’s first girlfriend.’
‘Perhaps they’ll be glad their dad is settling down. It’ll be the end of the instability in his life, and they might like the security that comes with that,’ Fliss suggested.
‘You know what I think?’ Cesca gave me a knowing look. ‘I think you’re projecting your own worries onto them. This is you getting the pre-marriage jitters and overthinking every tiny detail. You love those children and they love you too, even if they don’t say it.’
‘So no more talk about postponing the wedding, OK?’ Fliss said firmly.
‘OK,’ I said, trying to ignore the gnawing uneasiness in my stomach.
I felt bad for lying not just to my friends but to Cole. Because if he knew what his little girl wanted more than anything else this Christmas, would he still want to marry me? I wasn’t sure, and it wasn’t a risk I was prepared to take.
Chapter Seventeen
Emily
1 DECEMBER
There was a convivial atmosphere in the communal room at Springwood House when Emily arrived. The afternoon light was fading, and the twinkling lights above the fireplace and on the Christmas tree lent a cosy and welcoming glow. At one end of the room, a group of people, arranged in a semicircle with Peter at the centre, were listening to music and chatting, some of them swaying to the beat. Emily recognised the song as an old duet by Elton John and Kiki Dee, it was one of Tina’s favourites. Beside the Christmas tree sat Maude with a visitor, a striking-looking woman in her seventies talking loudly in a German accent, a fluffy ginger dog asleep between them.
At the opposite end to Peter and his gang, the television was on, and all the armchairs in front of it were occupied. Emily spotted Ray’s tufty silver hair amongst the row of heads and stood at the doorway for a moment, getting her thoughts in order.
Since seeing her mum, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that baby in the photograph. She’d been so sure that it was her, so pleased that Ray had hung onto it all this time. Now it turned out, it was a random babyand she couldn’t help feeling disappointed. She had to ask him about it again. It was like worrying at a scab, she doubted it would make her feel better, but she couldn’t help herself.
‘Anyone fancy a game of dominoes?’ A man stood in front of the TV and rattled a box of tiles.
