Page 18 of Merrily Ever After
Everything had stepped up a gear with her dad’s care since that call from the police station. Emily realised that day had been a pivotal moment. Having her dad’s condition witnessed by those two officers had made it all very real. She’d explained to his doctor that his bouts of confusion were getting worse, social services had increased the carer’s daily visits from one to two, and various nurses had been visiting every couple of days to change his dressing.
‘Clumsy old fool, I am. Caught it on a gate,’ Ray said cheerfully, marvelling at the size of the cut on his arm. ‘I was doing a bit of gardening for a chap I met in the shop.’
Emily exchanged a look with the nurse, who knew all about Ray’s dawn raid on the police station in his pyjamas.
‘However you did it, Dad, if you’d been wearing a coat, it wouldn’t have happened.’
‘I thought we had global warming now and we’re all getting too hot, that’s what you told me,’ Ray grumbled. ‘Gave me earache about it all the way to London.’
‘You remember that?’ Emily couldn’t help but laugh. How could he forget his name one minute and then dredge up a memory from years ago the next?
‘Course I do.’ He winced as the nurse cleaned his arm with antiseptic.
There’d been a protest in London about climate change which she and Izzy had wanted to join. They must have been about sixteen, full of outrage and passion, and angry at the adult world for ruining the planet. They’d hitchhike to London, she declared earnestly, because it was a green form of transport and cheap. Her mum hadn’t wanted her to go, saying it would be dangerous amongst a big crowd and she hadn’t been keen on them hitchhiking either, but Emily had been adamant. In the end, her parents had relented, but only after she’d written down exactly what their intended route was.
They’d set off, early one Saturday morning, carrying a cardboard sign with London painted on it. For fifteen minutes, they’d stood at the side of the main road, thumbs out, their optimism waning with every passing car. Until a blue van had pulled up.
‘Dad?’ Emily had exclaimed as the side window rolled down.
‘You won’t believe this.’ Ray’s green eyes were wide with innocence. ‘As luck would have it, turns out I’ve got to go to London today, so I can give you a lift. Hop in then.’
Emily didn’t believe it, not for one minute, but Izzy had cheered and thrown herself into the van straight away. Emily had followed her, a bit peeved that Dad had diluted their adventure. Real protesters didn’t get lifts from their parents, it just wasn’t cool.
‘I couldn’t do it, love,’ he’d said softly, squeezing her hand when they made it back home late that night. ‘I couldn’t let you be picked up by any Tom, Dick or Harry. You’re too precious to me.’
Emily looked at her dad now and felt a rush of love for him. It was these special memories which kept them bound together, reminding her why she was happy to be here for him, even though in the past he hadn’t always been there for her.
‘Your daughter is right, Ray,’ the nurse said. ‘You were lucky that you only sustained a graze. I see this all too often, I’m afraid. The patient, and sometimes their loved ones too, often dismiss incidents like this as a one-off. And then things escalate, and care needs to be sorted out fast.’
‘Care?’ Emily said. ‘As in a care home?’
‘Most of the time, I’m fine,’ Ray grumbled. ‘I just have the odd funny turn.’
Emily took his hand. ‘You are getting more and more of these episodes, Dad. It worries me.’
‘I know, love,’ he said in a quiet voice. ‘I wish I could do something about it. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
The nurse gave Emily a sympathetic smile. ‘It’s not an easy decision to make, but it’s something you need to consider. Better to have a plan of action and be in control than for the matter to be taken out of your hands in an emergency.’
She was right, Emily knew, but it was such a big irreversible decision.
‘Do you hear that, Dad?’ Emily said. ‘The nurse is right. Anything could happen when I’m not here to look after you.’
‘I’m a bloody liability,’ her dad sighed. ‘I should do what our old tom cat did when he was past it; wander off and let nature take its course.’
‘Don’t say that.’ Emily shuddered. ‘Please. No more wanderings. You need to stay safe.’
Ray looked at her, defeated. ‘I can’t promise, Emily.’ He rapped his knuckles on his skull. ‘It’s this stupid thing, playing tricks on me. I don’t want to be a burden.’
They held each other’s gaze for a long moment. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something, giving her responsibility that she didn’t want. A care home; was that really the answer? She gave herself a shake and broke eye contact. She didn’t want to think about it. Not yet.
‘I’ll feed back to the occupational health team,’ the nurse said, jotting down some notes and packing up. ‘You’ll get a letter through the post.’
‘I don’t know what to do,’ Emily told her as she showed her out. ‘He and my mum separated a long time ago and I’m an only child. It feels wrong to be making decisions on behalf of a parent. What if it’s the wrong decision? Or what if I choose the wrong place?’
‘I haven’t been through this myself,’ the nurse said kindly. ‘But in my line of work, I hear all sorts of tales of good and bad care providers. Take a look at Springwood House. You might be pleasantly surprised.’
Emily thanked her, closed the door and returned to the living room. Ray had turned the television on and was staring at what appeared to be a crime drama. He was agitated, rubbing his forehead repeatedly, his eyes darting left and right.
