Page 25 of The Life We Almost Had

At the reception flamenco music played while we ate the wedding breakfast: paella, and Limoncello and plum tart of course. During the speeches I drank too much sangria, expecting Josh’s to be raucous and rude but it was short and heartfelt. Mum stood and spoke.

‘In the short time I’ve known him, I’ve grown to love Adam. Before he proposed to Anna, he asked me for her hand in marriage; not a lot of young men would do that nowadays and I appreciated the gesture. Anna’s dad would greatly have appreciated the gesture too and I know that he’d be just as fond of Adam.’ I nodded. ‘But the most important thing of all is that they love each other, and any fool can see that they do.’

‘Even me.’ Josh raised his glass.

‘A toast. To Mr and Mrs Curtis.’

Mrs Curtis.

I couldn’t stop smiling.

It was time for the first dance. We had told Josh and Nell what our song would be and why, but I’d wanted it to be a surprise for Mum and Nan. We’d chosen ‘Love Me Tender’. Adam took me in his arms and we swayed along, intermittently kissing. After the first few bars I watched as Josh strode purposefully towards Nell. Even if it hadn’t been tradition for the best man to dance with the chief bridesmaid, he would have wanted to. Nan was sitting on the edge of the dance floor, wearing such a wistful expression that Josh hesitated as he passed her. With one last, lingering glance at Nell, he offered Nan his hand. Her face lit up as Josh led her onto the dance floor.

Smiling, I broke away from Adam and beckoned for Mum to come and dance with me while Adam did the same to Nell.

I couldn’t take my eyes off Adam as he twirled Nell around the dance floor and I remember now with clarity the happiness that filled me as I watched them.

My husband. My best friend.

I never thought I’d lose him.

Never thought I’d lose them both.

Part Two

‘We can’t always fix things for those we love.’

PATRICIA ADLINGTON – ANNA’S MUM

Chapter Fourteen

Adam

There was a pub called The Star. It was a bit of a dump but when I had first moved here, over two years ago now, the name had made me smile when I’d driven past it.

‘Fancy going out for a drink?’ I had asked Anna when I arrived home. ‘You’ve a pub named after you, Star!’

‘I’m living the dream,’ she had laughed.

The floors were always sticky and the very fabric of the place stank of cigarettes, but still we came regularly with Josh and Nell to play pool. Not many pubs had games rooms anymore, or dark wooden beams that striped the ceiling. It was a contrast to the other local pubs that were part of a chain. Here, we were largely ignored by the older clientele who perched on stools at the bar, nursing frothy pints of ale, leaving us to sprawl in front of the crackling fire and chat without too-loud music or extortionately priced beers.

Tonight, Anna was distracted; she picked up her glass of orange juice and put it straight back down again onto a battered mahogany table that wobbled on its spindly legs. I knew she was thinking about her appointment tomorrow. Our appointment tomorrow.There was a lot riding on it but for now I just wanted to relax, have a good time.

‘Hey,’ I nudged her lightly with my elbow. ‘It’s your shot.’

She picked up her cue and bent over the table, her denim skirt stretching. I couldn’t help checking her out. Before we had married, I had wondered what sleeping with the same woman for the rest of my life might be like, but I was just as attracted to her as ever. More so.

Anna’s tongue poked out between her teeth the way it always did when she was concentrating. She jabbed the white ball and potted a yellow.

‘That would be very impressive,’ I said, ‘if we weren’t red.’

‘Shit, are we? Sorry.’

‘We thought you two losers needed a chance,’ I called across to Josh and Nell. Nell didn’t bat back one of her usual sarcastic replies. She’d been quiet all evening too. We all took another shot and then it was Anna’s turn again.

‘Red?’ she questioned.

‘Red.’ I tried not to get annoyed. It was only natural that she was worried about tomorrow but then she was always worried. I just wanted one night without thinking about it all.

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