Page 60 of Dirty Love

Fuck, I hate him.

I move one foot in front of the other and Kade keeps me as close to his side as possible, making a point to stay between me and Dad as we walk out into the hall.

“Let go of his hand.”

“Go fuck yourself.”

His nostrils flare but he doesn’t say anything else, probably because he doesn’t want to cause a scene in front of all these people. I keep my head down and try to concentrate on walking, trying my hardest not to fall over at the way the floor keeps wobbling beneath me. My entire body throbs violently and I’m so spaced out that it’s hard to think straight, but I don’t miss the several pairs of eyes on us, the whispers following me and my brother as we make our way towards the exit.

They know.

They all know, and suddenly the nurse’s nasty attitude makes a lot more sense than it did before.

“We weren’t safe here, anyway, were we?”

“No,” Kade says honestly, his voice quiet but cold.

I sneak a glance at him and find him seething again, his composure slipping while we walk out into the pouring rain. I whine into his side and he wraps his arm around my shoulder, covering me the best he can while he helps me into the back of Dad’s cop car. He closes the door and rushes around to the other side, barely leaving me alone for a second before he’s sliding into the seat beside me. Dad’s eyes hit mine in the rear-view and I shiver in Kade’s arms, but I don’t bother asking him to turn the heat on. He wouldn’t do it if I begged him to, so there’s really no point wasting my breath.

The drive home is silent, and painful, and freezing, and even though Kade just told me I had to trust him, I can’t help the pure terror rushing through me—the fear that these could be our last moments alive.

“Get out,” Dad orders, pulling up behind the truck and ripping his keys from the ignition.

He jumps out of the driver’s seat and waits for us to follow him, his impatience clear as he watches Kade help me. The rain is getting heavier now, soaking us from head to toe as we make our way up the narrow path. The three of us get inside and Dad slams the front door behind us, then he grabs Kade by his shoulders and shoves him into it head first. I let out a cry and lean my bruised back against the wall, barely able to keep myself standing as I watch him hit the floor.

“Kade, get up!” I shout, wishing I could do something to help him, wishing I wasn’t so fucking weak, wishing a lot of things that’ll probably never come true. “Kade.”

His eyes soften for me and then he looks up at Dad, grinning for some reason despite the blood dripping from his temple. Dad growls through his teeth and chokes him with both hands, digging his thumbs into his throat while he rams his foot into his stomach. He does it again, and again, and Kade does nothing. Nothing but lie there and take it while our father beats the shit out of him, his ugly face turning red as he lays into him until he’s out of breath. I flinch with every hit and wrap my arms around my stomach, furious with my brother because what the fuck is he doing?

Why isn’t he fighting back?

“It’s okay, Nicky,” he reminds me, his voice raspy as he repeats the words he’s told me so many times before. “Keep looking at me and pretend he’s not here. It’s just you and me, okay? No one but me.”

No one but him.

I breathe fast and try to do as he says, holding his eyes while he takes another hit to the face, and another one, and then another five. It seems to go on forever, and I can’t do this much longer.

I can’t fucking stand this.

“Kade,” I plead, but he doesn’t do anything.

He lets himself get beat by the other man—the same one he told me to ignore—the same one who’s been making our lives hell since the four of us became a family all those years ago.

“God, you make me sick,” the man spits out, roughly hauling Kade up to his feet, his head whipping back and forth between the two of us. “Fucking disgusting, dirty little faggots. And you—”

I wince just as Kade pulls him back by his jacket, quickly ducking around him to block his path to me.

“Move.”

“No.”

“Move before I make you move.”

“Fucking try it,” Kade hisses, shoving him back with two hands on his chest, shoving him again as if he’s proving some kind of point. “You can touch me all you want but that’s only because I allow it. You touch my baby brother and I’ll kill you right here.”

“You’ll kill me?” he echoes, shaking his head in amusement. “Boy, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? You think you can kill me?!”

“I think you’re a pussy,” Kade replies, stepping closer to crowd his space. “I think you beat the shit out of me and Mom because it made you feel like a big man. And I think you’ll scream like a bitch when I finally get m—”

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