Page 27 of In The Darkness

“Do you need to stand guard near the window all night? Won’t you get tired?” she asked in sweet voice.

Brushing off what sounded almost like concern for him since that couldn’t possibly be what lay under her words, he said, “I slept a little before. I’m fine. You should lay down again. Might as well take advantage of the time to stretch your legs while you can.”

She bent over and looked down at her legs before looking up at him. “I’m fine to walk now. I’m not sure I can run much, though, but I think if someone was chasing us, the adrenaline would kick in and I’d be able to run anywhere I had to.”

Nick stood next to the window and forced a smile as he pointed at the couch. “Well, take it easy for a while. We’ll leave in a little while.”

Taking his cue, she sat back down and continued to eat her crackers. When he didn’t move after a minute or so, she asked, “Would you like to sit down with me? I thought maybe we could talk.”

Every muscle in his body stiffened like lead. Talk? What the hell were they going to talk about? Even if the hate seemed to have left her eyes, he suspected none of it had actually disappeared. He didn’t begrudge her feeling that toward him, but the last thing he wanted to do was sit down and listen to her tell him how much she hated him for what he’d done.

“I want to keep watch,” he said quietly, hoping that would put her off wanting them to talk.

She didn’t say anything for a while and instead continued to eat the saltines until there were none left in the box. Placing it on the table, she stared at him for so long that he felt like her gaze was burning a hole in the side of his face.

But he didn’t turn to look at her or ask if she needed anything. He knew what she needed and he didn’t want any part of it.

“I’d really like to talk. If you won’t come over here, can I come over there?” she asked using that sweet voice again.

What could he do? He couldn’t avoid her while they were stuck in that tiny cabin, but talking wasn’t going to change what he did.

As if reading his mind, she said, “I just wanted to talk. We don’t have to if it bothers you, but it would mean a lot to me if we could.”

That made it even worse. Now if he refused to talk to her, it would be like he was unwilling to give her the one thing she’d ever asked from him.

Reluctantly, he walked over to the couch and sat down on the opposite end from her. A spring poked the back of his leg, but he had no intention of moving any closer to her while they talked. Being this close already made him uncomfortable.

Persephone cleared her throat and said in a tiny voice, “I just wanted to thank you for getting me out of there.”

Looking down at his legs, he shrugged. “I was just doing my job. Your father paid me to get you away from those bastards, so I did.”

He didn’t have to see her face to know his answer had disappointed her. Of course it did. When you thanked someone for doing something for you, being told it didn’t mean much wasn’t exactly what you hoped to hear in return.

“Well, even though it was your job, I still wanted to say thank you. You put yourself in harm’s way the entire time you stayed with those men just to get me out, and that’s something no one can put a price on. Not even my father.”

“I did what I had to, Persephone. That’s all it was.”

Never before had he spoken truer words to anyone in his life. He didn’t know if she understood the true meaning of what he said, but he hoped someday she’d think back to this moment and remember that he confessed the real reason why he did what he did.

Lost in his own thoughts, he didn’t realize she’d moved over on the couch to sit right next to him. Placing her hand on his forearm, she said, “I know you did. I wanted to hate you for it—in fact, I did ever since it happened. But now that I’ve gotten some sleep and had some food other than that grey stuff, I don’t. I’m not sure what to think about it, though, other than being ashamed.”

For the first time since he sat down on the couch, he looked over at her and saw her head hung. He hated hearing she felt shame over what he’d done. She didn’t deserve that on top of everything else she’d gone through.

“Don’t be. It was nothing more than if I pretended to want to hit you. It was a show for their benefit to make them see they shouldn’t touch you or they’d have me to deal with.”

She lifted her head, and her beautiful mouth turned down into a frown. “I’m not sure that makes it any better, to be honest. But thanks for trying.”

He hadn’t meant to make it seem like having sex with someone was on the same level as someone pretending to want to hurt them. His mind raced with some way to explain what he really meant, but nothing came to him. Christ, how did anyone explain forcing themselves on someone to protect them?

“I know it sounds wrong, but I did it to make sure they knew I’d claimed you. It’s how people like them think. If you belonged to me, then they would think twice about touching you. I just wanted to keep you safe from them.”

She turned her head to look at him with confusion in her eyes. “Belong to you?”

He knew how ridiculous it sounded to say someone belonged to another person. He didn’t think like that, but that group of militia assholes did. They saw no use for women other than as sex toys for them to play with every so often when they weren’t fucking around with guns or trying to kill zombies.

“I just wanted to make sure they understood that if they touched you, they’d have to deal with me. If they thought you were mine, they likely would keep their hands off you. It’s who they are. They have the mentality of animals, so I staked my claim.”

It all sounded so clinical and at the same time barbaric, so he stopped for a moment and then said, “I’m sorry I did that. I didn’t have a choice, but I didn’t mean to hurt you like that.”

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