Page 85 of Perfect Cowboy

Ashley is doing a great job building up her business, but an extra buffer of cash flow wouldn’t hurt. She’ll also get to spend some time with my mom, and I know that she’ll eventually win Mom over.

Plus, it’s easier for me to protect everyone if they’re all in the same place.

If Ashley decides that she wants to leave when the dust settles, then I won’t stand in her way. You can’t make someone love you, and it’s not worth it to be with a partner who is only half-invested.

But God help me, even though no one wants me to be with Ashley and she very well might break me all over again, I can’t stay away.

Chapter 22

Ashley

Nothingisasscarywhen the sun is shining. And with the blanket of fresh snow, the light is almost blinding. It’s undoubtedly a new day and surely it has to get better from here.

I spend the day at the kitchen table with my face buried in my laptop, securing client work for the next several months.

As hard and disheartening as it was to be restructured out of my nine-to-five job, the freedom and flexibility to work wherever I want and to put in hours when it’s convenient for me is a gift.

Gavin strides into the cottage, and when I glance at the clock on the stove, I’m shocked to find it’s almost dinnertime.

“Hey, babe.”

And for several beats, I imagine what it would be like to have this man come home to me after work every day, a thought that brings bittersweet tears to my eyes.

“Hey, cowboy.”

“Are you okay?” he asks.

He closes the distance between us and pulls me to my feet, wrapping me tightly in his strong arms.

I’m aching from being in the same position all day, but everything feels better when his hard body is pressed against mine.

God, he smells so good and I just want to wrap myself around him forever.

“Now I am.”

“Let’s go on a date tonight,” he says. “We could use it.”

“What do you want to do?” I ask, with a smile.

A date sounds a lot deeper than friends with benefits or whatever the hell we’ve been doing. It’s so easy to fall back into comfortable routines and patterns, and I just hope it’s true feelings driving Gavin’s actions and not misplaced nostalgia.

Does he want me as I am now, or the memory of me?

Does he want a future together, or does he miss the past and what could have been?

Everything is so freaking confusing, but all I know is that I love being with him, even when the world around us is falling apart.

“I wish it was summer so we could lie in the back of the truck under the stars,” Gavin replies. “But we’ll have to improvise. I definitely want some pizza though.”

“Is Papa Bill’s Pizzeria still in business?” I ask, referencing one of our old high school hangouts.

“Hell yes,” Gavin replies, “And that’s exactly what I want.”

“And road head?” I tease, reminding him about our conversation with Cade and Victory last night.

Jesus, was it only last night? The lines of time are blurring. My relationship with Gavin is temporary and the minutes are ticking away at warp speed, throwing me off-kilter. I should be scared about what’s going to happen to me while I’m in Montana, but I’m not.

I trust Gavin to keep me safe.

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