Page 26 of Perfect Cowboy

If the roads aren’t already shit, they will be by the time I make sure the Hollands have everything they need.

I’d rather take the risk myself than send one of my guys. It’s not a super far drive, but I’d never be able to live with myself if I sent one of them out into harm’s way and something bad happened.

“You stay here and make sure everyone is good,” I say. “I’ll be back soon.”

Cameron can keep everything running without me, and I don’t worry about leaving the operation in his capable hands for an hour or two.

I load up the truck and a trailer with everything I could possibly need, bringing extra because, let’s face it, I might not be able to resist checking on Ashley.

I definitely shouldn’t go to her. It’s way too far and way too risky, plus I’d be abandoning everyone I love at the ranch.

But the damn idea keeps turning around in my head, taunting me.

Even if I just drive by the cabin and make sure there’s smoke coming from the chimney and at least one light is on, I’ll feel better.

The girl must know how to start a fire.

But there are so many things that can go wrong, and I doubt she knows how to troubleshoot any of them.

On the way to the Holland place, Bobby calls and I answer on Bluetooth, keeping my eyes glued to the road. Wildlife running in front of vehicles is a hazard on a good day and would be especially disastrous right now.

I explain what’s going on, and he’s already protesting before I can even finish my spiel.

“Help the Hollands,” Bobby says. “They’re old and we’re the closest neighbors. But don’t you dare risk your life by driving any further than their place. Not forher.”

Bobby knows better than anyone what Ashley put me through. Not only were we living in the same house, but we’ve always been able to feel each other’s emotions.

It’s both a blessing and a curse to understand someone so intuitively. There is no one I’ll ever be closer to, but it also means that I can’t hide anything from him.

“I know these roads, man,” I reply. “I’d be fine driving up there for a quick look.”

“You might be comfortable driving in this shit, but every other idiot on the road isn’t,” Bobby says. “And besides, you can’t see the fucking roads, so knowing them is irrelevant. I checked the cameras and it looks really bad.”

Itisreally bad.

But that’s all the more reason to make sure she’s okay.

There isn’t anyone else in this town who will check on her with good intentions.

Not after what her dad did.

“Don’t worry about me,” I say. “I’m not even sure that I’m going. Maybe I’ll just head back to the ranch after helping the Hollands.”

“You won’t go home,” Bobby grumbles. “You’re such a bleeding heart, man. Fuck. Just call her or something.”

“I don’t have her number.”

“You did,” Bobby reminds me. “And she ignored you, remember? After she gained your trust, fucked you, and then got information about our parents so her dad could try to steal from them. Nice girl to give your virginity to. Nice girl to go rescue. Nice girl to risk your life over.”

It’s a solid blow that lands hard enough to steal my breath. He’s right, but that doesn’t change the war happening inside me.

What if she’s fine and I just make myself look like an idiot who never got over her?

But what if she isn’t fine?

You never forget your first time or your first love, but that’s especially true when it ends so bitterly and is laced with so much pain.

So, why do I keep making an ass of myself over her?

---