Page 124 of Perfect Cowboy

“You have nothing to feel terrible about,” Gavin says, which is what he always says. “I’ll get it sorted out. Even if you had left, who knows if the threat would have gone with you. At this point, we’re both targets and so is my property. It needs to be resolved whether you’re here or not, and I’d much prefer having you by my side. You know. Always.”

I rest my hand on his knee and remind myself that as surreal as everything is, it’s my life right now. I need to be part of finding the solution, not adding more stress to Gavin’s plate.

“With you is where I want to be,” I say, meaning it.

I focus on the things I’m grateful for, which almost always have the power to ground me. No matter how much life sucks and no matter how heavy the load, there are always good things.

The man beside me.

The hope that I’ll find a friend in Savanna and reconnect with Bobby.

The rekindled friendship with Victory and Cade.

The desire to be part of a family and win Gavin’s parents over.

Montana is a beautiful state, even in the snow. Thinking back, I never actually hated it here until everything went down with my family.

Like many people, I was born here and just intended to stay, though I had considered moving closer to the city rather than living in the middle of nowhere.

But there’s no way Gavin could do it. He’d have to commute to the ranch every day, and his family is at the center of his world.

If I become included in the group, then life will be so much more settled. I’ll belong somewhere. No matter what’s happening externally, I’ll find comfort and security at home.

And home is wherever Gavin is.

Maybe it always has been.

All I know is that I can’t leave him again no matter what the toll on me may be. And it will get better as I slowly integrate myself back into the town.

It has to.

Gavin always has music on in the truck. But his leg stiffens under my touch and he reaches forward to snap the soundtrack off, setting me immediately on edge.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m not sure,” he replies, “But something isn’t right.”

A sliver of dread races down my spine, and all I can think is, what now? All I want is peace, and I have no idea how I’ll ever find and hold onto it when things keep going wrong. Everything is unsurmountable right now, but it won’t always be this way.

Everything will settle down sooner or later.

And maybe Gavin just means the tire pressure is low or the truck is driving like crap from sitting in the cold or some other minor concern.

“Gav, what–”

“Shhh, just for a second, babe.”

He’s listening closely to something, but to what, I’m not sure. When he hits a button to lower the windows as he downshifts the truck, an icy cold breeze chills my exposed skin as I try to figure out what’s going on.

People don’t cut brake lines, right? That’s just a movie thing, isn’t it? And we would have crashed by now if that were the case, so Gavin’s concern has got to be just some regular car maintenance thing that guys pick up on.

I want to ask him what he’s hearing and feeling that I’m oblivious to. But I’m too worried to speak and risk distracting him from whatever he’s trying to figure out.

Maybe someone is following us, but when I turn to look out the back window, ours is the only vehicle on the quiet, country road.

Jesus, this isn’t a spy movie. No one is following us. Whatever is happening has to be benign. Maybe an axel broke. Or some other truck part that I don’t even have a name for. Vehicles make weird noises, but that doesn’t mean anything is wrong.

Gavin abruptly pulls over, the tires sliding on the snow and ice as he maneuvers the truck onto the side of the road out of harm’s way.

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