Page 119 of Perfect Cowboy

This vacation needs to be at least a month, and I can’t believe we’re already making the hour drive back to Sonoma Coast to meet up with Ashley’s brother for lunch.

It’s tempting to hog her time, but this trip is for her to see her brother, not be with me. But I’m glad that we snuck in an overnight getaway just the two of us.

I can’t think about the possibility that it might be the last one.

When you lose someone and think they’re never coming back only to have them crash into your life again and then threaten to leave you, it’s enough to make anyone crazy.

The potential loss of Ashley even has me considering leaving the ranch and following her wherever she wants to move. One of us needs to sacrifice what we want, and it fills me with guilt that it has to be her.

I could always find another job, but in my heart, I know I’d be miserable. But she’s miserable in Montana, so we really can’t win.

The path back to each other for good is impossible.

When Ashley’s phone rings, it jars me out of melancholy and I turn the radio off so she can hear the caller.

“It’s the fertility clinic,” she says.

“Answer it.”

“I’m scared. I don’t want to know.”

“Yes, you do. Answer it.”

She’s on the phone for ten minutes, and I listen to her part of the conversation. She’s asking a ton of questions and when she finally hangs up, she turns to look at me.

“They said nothing is clinically wrong with me.”

“I’m glad, babe. I know it was weighing on you.”

“So, it was either unexplained infertility or something was up with my ex, not that he’d ever admit it.”

“He’s a douche.”

She laughs. “Yeah, he really is. When I asked if I’d experience the same problem with someone else, they said there’s no way to tell until I start trying again with a new partner.”

“That makes sense,” I reply.

“Do you still want kids?”

I was expecting the question and reach over to squeeze her knee. “Absolutely. At least a half dozen, especially if my daughters look like you.”

“Oh, Gav. I love you.”

Jesus.

Yeah, it’s confirmed.

The words still make it hard to breathe.

“I love you, too, babe. And for the record, I’d have no problem shooting into a cup and getting tested if we reach that point together. Putting your mind at ease is pretty damn important to me. But you’re the one jerking me off.”

“Fair compromise,” she says, with a laugh. “And thank you for being so amazing and offering to do it without me even having to ask.”

“I’ll always be the guy who wants to make your life easier.”

When we pull back up to the Airbnb we’re sharing with Ashley’s brother, Brady comes outside to help carry our stuff back into the house. I only have one bag, but Ashley felt the need to pack her entire life for a one night trip.

I’m pretty certain there’s an entire suitcase dedicated to shoes she didn’t even wear.

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