Page 121 of Perfect Cowboy

Outside factors don’t really matter.

Focus on your relationship.

It’s easy for me to feel like she should move to the ranch when I’m not the one who is hated. But I’m confident that people would adjust to her presence, and we would have a peaceful, amazing life together on my property. It’s just a matter of convincing her.

“We need to make sure that we spend more time together,” Ashley says. “I’ve missed you way too much.”

“We’ll make it happen,” Brady replies. “I promise you. I’ll get stateside way more often.”

We spend the afternoon walking along the beach and talking about everything from our bucket lists to our favorite movies.

It’s so surreal knowing that the man I’m walking beside could have died if it wasn’t for his dad doing the very thing that’s making it so hard for Ashley to be with me now.

Ashley insists that we order Chinese takeout for dinner, and we spend the evening drinking beer and playing board games with Brady’s rowdy friends. When we break out Cards Against Humanity, I’m laughing so hard that my stomach hurts.

Brady is younger than us and when he heads out to go clubbing with his buddies, we head to our bedroom.

“My days of doing that shit are over,” Ashley says.

“Hell yeah,” I agree. “This is so much better.”

She takes my hand and leads me out onto the private balcony. We share a glass of wine under the stars, the waves crashing against the shore, and talk about our plans for tomorrow until Ashley blurts out an interruption.

“We need to talk.”

“Okay…”

And this is it. I know it. Dread fills my body and weighs it down like a thousand-pound anvil, my heart racing while my palms sweat.

She’s about to break up with me.

And we’ll still have to finish the trip together.

Part of me is grateful we’re at least talking this time and she’s not just splitting, leaving me high and dry. At least this time we can be friends.

But fuck, I wanted a different outcome.

I picture driving to the airport alone, while Ashley stays here and looks for an apartment while she builds a life for herself that doesn’t include me.

My heart aches and legitimately feels like someone is hacking it in half. My chest is so tight that it’s really difficult to catch a breath, and I wonder if this is what a panic attack is like.

When there’s a buzz in my pocket, I already know it’s Bobby wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I’ve been keeping him up to date on everything, but the latest vent session will have to wait.

“I’ve been thinking so much about the future,” Ashley admits, staring off into the horizon. “Running from things that hurt is something I’m good at doing, and it’s been hard to stay in the present moment. I’m not running this time, though.”

“So, you’ve decided what you want?” I ask, dropping my gaze to the ground.

I don’t recognize my voice. It’s a dull, defeated monotone as though I’ve already lost everything that matters.

“Yes,” she agrees. “Look at me.”

And reluctantly, I do. There’s no doubt she can see the evidence of my heartbreak all over my face because her gaze softens and she reaches out to take my hand.

I should have poured something a lot stronger than wine into my glass.

“I would never ask you to leave the ranch,” Ashley says. “It’s a part of you. I don’t have anywhere like that, and it’s a lot easier for me to move than it would be for you.”

“Except that you hate it there.”