Page 103 of Perfect Cowboy

For the first time in my life, just being with a girl is enough.

Now, I just need to convince her to stay for good.

Chapter 26

Ashley

Inevershouldhavetold Gavin that I love him.

It may be true, but that doesn’t mean it needed to be said. We were both so emotionally raw, and he looked so goddamn broken over Scout, that I just couldn’t keep it from him anymore.

But he’s an alpha, dominant guy. He would have wanted to say it first, if he even intended to say it at all.

And it doesn’t change the fact that Montana isn’t home and never will be.

People are literally trying to kill me, and now they’re after Gavin and his loved ones. Even if the danger is extinguished for now, that doesn’t mean it won’t peak again. I’ll never truly be welcome here.

If ever there was a sign to exit from stage left, Scout’s death was it.

I’d pay everyone back if I could, and it’s my goal to save up enough money to do it one day. But right now, I can’t even afford to live on my own, so it’s a long way off.

And even repayment won’t be enough for some people.

I’m working on a logo and website branding for a new entrepreneur client when the phone rings and makes me jump a mile.

When I check the display and realize it’s my brother, I can’t stop the big grin from spreading across my face.

No matter how much time passes and how long he’s been in remission, I will never forget sitting beside him during treatment and watching him sleep in a hospital bed, wondering if he would be alive in a year. Five years. Ten.

Growing up in small town America means that I was always surrounded by religion, but I was never a real believer until Brady got sick. And then I prayed every single day, just repeating mantras in my head and begging for Brady’s life to be spared.

He got another chance at life, even though our dad lost his in the process. It was a terribly painful tradeoff, but it’s what Dad wanted and exactly why he did what he did.

He wasn’t a greedy man. He didn’t want to buy a Bugatti and move to the coast. He just wanted to save his son’s life.

And wouldn’t any parent want the same? At any cost?

Brady is seizing every moment and creating his own unique path, and I couldn’t be prouder of the man he’s become. He’s never been afraid to chase a dream.

Staring death in the face when you have childhood cancer, not sure you’ll grow up to be an adult, pushes you to take chances and risks that others don’t dare to.

You learn quickly what matters in life, and it’s never going to be a job. It’s family. It’s health. It’s experiences and memories and laughter.

And watching your loved one suffer when you’re helpless to stop it is a special kind of torture. My biggest lesson was the fragility of life. How everything can be taken away from you in an instant, so you better not dare put off happiness.

It’s way too dangerous, too egotistical to assume you have tomorrow.

That’s why I always do my best to protect my peace and only participate in what makes my soul sing.

Like being with Gavin.

That man is never far from my mind.

“How’s my favorite sister?” Brady asks, when I answer the call.

“Well…”

I can’t decide how much I should tell him about what’s happening, if anything. It’s not like he can do anything from Italy, but it also doesn’t feel right to keep such a big secret from him. Brady is my brother, but he’s also my best friend.

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