Page 85 of Perfect Alpha

Gavin lowers his voice even further, his mouth on my ear. “You’ll stay with Cade?”

“I won’t leave him alone, promise.”

Gavin gives Cade an enormous bear hug, muttering something I can’t hear. And then it’s just me and Cade, shivering in the driveway.

“You got me a Dodge Ram. Cool.”

It’s such a ridiculous thing to say that I laugh, the sound already rusty. “I did. I know how much you like diesel.”

He gives me a half-smile. “Thanks, angel.”

Before I can choke on the bravery I’m trying to drum up, I take his hand and lead the way to the house. We intertwine our fingers on autopilot – some habits are hard to break – and walk through the threshold together.

Hannah is all over the house, and it’s a punch straight to the gut.

A discarded sweater on the bench in the entryway.

Countless pairs of shoes and boots at the front door.

A half-cleaned-up disaster in the kitchen from when she was last cooking.

Toys are also scattered everywhere, and Cade reaches to pick up a tattered stuffed bunny, hugging it tight to his chest.

“Aidan loves this one.”

“He’ll be home to play with all his toys soon,” I remind Cade gently. But the heaviness that Hannah won’t be home ever again crushes my chest, making it impossible to breathe.

Cade’s shoulders tremble and I realize he’s crying silently, his powerful body racked with agony. I’m in his arms with no hesitation, and he crushes me to his chest so hard I gasp.

My hands glide under his shirt and massage the tense muscles in his back and shoulders while he cries into my hair. His wet shirt clings to my face, so I must be crying, too.

My feet lift off the ground, and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist as he carries me to the couch. I don’t know how long we’re sitting there, clinging to each other while we cry as though life depends on it.

Maybe it does.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Cade says, his voice choked with emotion.

“I’m here,” I soothe. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Can we… Victory, can we talk? I need to tell you something.”

I swallow over a softball-sized lump in my throat. He looks so earnest, his magnetic brown eyes wet with tears, that I can’t refuse him. But I also can’t speak, so I nod.

“I could have died,” Cade starts.

I try to move off his lap so I can sit beside him, but his grip is a vice on my hips.

“Please,” he begs, the sadness from his eyes pouring directly into my soul.

I stop struggling.

“Hannah… God, Hannahdiddie, and Aidan…”

I rub up and down his taut forearms, the muscles and veins bulging because he’s squeezing me so hard. “Aidan is alive. He’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll never forgive myself,” Cade sputters.

“Hey.” I take his solid, square jaw in my hands, his chin rough with stubble. “This isnotyour fault. None of this is your fault.”

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