Page 41 of Perfect Alpha

With no other solution, I root through my pockets and pass her the truck keys. “Here.”

She looks confused. “What?”

“My keys,” I explain. “You can walk the twenty steps back to where we parked and drive yourself home. I’ll get a buddy to pick me up on Sunday.”

“Are you kidding me right now?” Britt demands incredulously. “You had better get your goddamn head checked. What’s the matter with you? You’d rather go for a walk than fuck me?”

“No, that isn’t anywhere close to what I said,” I reply patiently. “But I’m not keen on listening to you complain for the next forty-eight hours. Britt, it’s the woods in Montana. There are rocks. Fallen logs. Bugs. This is what camping is, and given you grew up here, you already knew that.”

“If you don’t come back with me, I willnevergo out with you again,” Britt warns. “And I won’t let you touch me ever again either. So, you take me home right now.”

I give her a salute and turn on my heel without looking back, happy that I’m able to pick up the pace and hike to the site I originally wanted.

No woman other than Victory is ever going to be right for me, so I don’t know why I waste my time trying to tolerate any activities other than sex with anyone else.

It probably has something to do with the fact that I have the sex drive of an adolescent, and most women want some kind of pseudo-dating in between hookups. I’ll have to do better at tempering my basic needs on my own rather than subjecting myself to women like Britt.

I call Bobby and explain what happened just in case I lose signal or my phone dies. He laughs hysterically at my expense but agrees to send Gavin to pick me up since he has to fly back to New Jersey for Knights business.

And just because I don’t trust Britt, I ask him to get my truck back from her today. All I need is to have her name keyed on the side of it.

“Can I have Britt, too?” Bobby asks, with a grin evident in his voice.

“Be my fucking guest, man,” I reply. “Just get my goddamn truck.”

“On it, brother. I’ve got your back. I’ll take her on her back, too. And her front. And maybe even her knees just for shits and giggles.”

I chuckle. “You’re a fucking pig, you know that?”

“Oh,please. You’re the king of hookups, man.”

“Don’t worry. You get first dibs on sloppy seconds. Just don’t tell Gavin.” I disconnect the line to Bobby cursing colorfully at me and laugh again.

While I’m happy to have a solo weekend in the woods, being on this trail is bittersweet because it reminds me of Victory. She was always game for being outside, and actually enjoyed hunting, fishing, and portaging.

And Victory wasn’t just a beautiful accessory. I never had to worry about her keeping up, and she was a true partner in everything we did. Not only did she help carry supplies, but she could also fillet a fish and dress a deer.

My Montana angel in a big city is still hard for me to fathom, even after living without her for far too long. I’m proud of her, but I also miss her like hell.

I never asked her to stay, but a big part of me hoped that she would try out life in New York and realize it wasn’t what she wanted. But that isn’t what happened – at all.

And try as I might, the exertion of trudging up unforgiving hills still isn’t enough to keep the memories at bay.

Victory used to follow me and the twins around like a lost puppy when she was a kid. It was annoying as hell, plus she made googly eyes at me every chance she got. It was me keeping the shade closed in those days.

I did everything in my power to avoid my irritating little sister’s even more irritating best friend. But when I realized she had grown up and become the woman straight out of my dreams, I was suddenly extremely interested in her existence and spending every waking minute with her.

At all costs, I was making her mine.

I was far from a virgin when she shared her virginity with me, but she was my first serious girlfriend, and the first woman I had sex with who I actually loved. I’ve never been in love again because Victory still has my heart.

Tonight, I’m going to fall asleep under an endless blanket of stars and hopefully be so physically exhausted that I finally have peace.

But I miss her more with every step. It’s becoming increasingly harder to be near her and not have her. I don’t know how I ever thought I could let her go for good. Our families are so intertwined that it would be impossible to avoid being around her even if I wanted to.

I’ll never be able to work her out of my system or stop needing her in my life.

A text comes in that echoes my sentiments.

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