Page 37 of Perfect Alpha

Hannah turns to smile at me through her tears. She didn’t put on any make-up this morning, and her freckles glow in the morning sunlight. She could pass for a teenager, and I have an overwhelming urge to make everything right in her life.

God, how am I going to fix this situation for her?

“Victory said the same thing. Thank you. I needed to hear it again.”

The mention of Victory makes my heart ache. “When will you tell Jimmy?”

“I’m going to bring the ultrasound pictures over to his house tonight and ask him what he wants to do.”

It’s no secret that Jimmy is crazy about Hannah, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to be a dad. His parents are super religious, like ninety-eight percent of people in our small town.

No one will celebrate that he’s knocked someone up out of wedlock, especially when the temptress in question already has a kid with a different man.

When Duncan split, I took over the role of driving Hannah to all her appointments. I’ve been down this path with her before and I’ll do it again.

But dammit, I didn’t need another fork in the road, and my selfish instincts crave breaking free and finally starting my own life. Not that I’d ever do it – abandoning my family isn’t an option.

When we get to the empty waiting room, we’re called right in. Hannah’s stomach is showing no sign of pregnancy, and I almost can’t believe this moment is real. She lifts her shirt so the attendant, Sofia according to her nametag, can start the process. I gasp when the outline of a tiny baby-like blob appears.

“Wow,” I breathe, completely mesmerized by the image.

Sofia takes pictures for about ten minutes, chattering away happily. Staring at the baby has excitement building in my chest, and I’m gripping Hannah’s hand so hard she winces. I hope she understands what I’m trying to convey.

Please keep this baby. Shit suddenly just got real.

Hannah and I are silent when we leave the building, but as soon as we get into the truck, we both start giggling manically.

“That is just as incredible the second time around,” Hannah says.

She has the ultrasound pictures clutched in her hand, and she carefully puts the envelope in her purse. Jimmy’s life is about to change, he just doesn’t know it yet. I pray he’s man enough to handle it and that he won’t let Hannah and their baby down.

“Everything will be okay no matter what,” I solemnly promise her.

“We need to talk about Dad… Do you think it’s time…”

My shoulders slump in defeat. People have been advising us for months to put Dad into a full-time care home, but the thought makes me sick. It would be the best thing for everyone, including him, but it’s way too final, like it’s the beginning of the end.

“I think we have to consider it soon,” I agree. “Maybe after Christmas. You know… just… one more holiday… together.” Fuck, I can’t believe my voice is breaking, and Hannah immediately moves over to hug me.

“Okay, Cade,” she whispers. “Sometimes the waiting lists are long, so I’m going to make some calls to try and get a spot for January. He’ll be better off there with personal support workers around the clock and activities he can do. We’ll go visit every weekend.”

I nod. “Yeah, I know.I know.It just… Fuck, Hannah Banana, it sucks.”

“Let’s take as many pictures as we can at Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas,” Hannah says brightly.

I can’t help but smile because my baby sister takes a ridiculous amount of pictures and videos even if the occasion is just a regular weekday. I tease her about it, but it’s nice to have tangible memories.

My dad loves looking through photo albums, and they sometimes trigger him to recall stories we assumed he’d long forgotten.

When life is stressful and uncertain, the absence of Victory is the hardest. She used to soothe me in an instant, but now all we have between us is animosity.

The decision about our future is made, but it’s so goddamn hard to live with it.

Chapter 14

Victory

Myfirstdaybackin New York is far from smooth.

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