Page 22 of Perfect Alpha

She can read me like a book, so I’m not surprised to be met with a look of disdain. “You certainly know exactly what I mean,” she sniffs. “You’ve been dreaming about Victory ever since you got home.”

I grin. “Actually, it’s been all day. And basically, since she moved away.”

“So, why don’t you tell her?” Julia asks pointedly, as though my life were that simple.

“You know why.”

I’m a grown man, and I’m sulking. For the first time in my life, I hope Aidan throws a temper tantrum to get Julia’s hawk-eyed attention off me. She knows the story and why it ended the way it did.

“Sometimes you can bury the past,” Julia reminds me. “Victory isn’t an unreasonable person.”

I snort, wondering if we’re talking about the same human. Julia views Victory through her rose-colored mom glasses. “Right. She’s always so easy on me.”

“You’ll both feel better if you have the conversation.”

“No,” I snap, using a harsher tone than I usually would as stress bubbles to the surface. “OnlyI’llfeel better. It would leave her with doubts and regrets, and that’s not acceptable. I just want her to be happy, even if her life doesn’t include me.”

“You’re a good man, Cade.” She rests her hand on mine and gives me a sad smile. “Misguided, but good.”

“What are you and Kevin doing tonight?” I ask.

Everyone thinks they know best about my situation. They don’t realize I’ve turned it around obsessively in my head and looked at it from every angle. I’ve made the best choice, even if it’s the most painful one for me.

“Victory is having dinner with her dad, and then we’re all heading over to the Granger’s place for some wine and board games.”

Julia lets me off the hook as she turns to remove a batch of her famous chocolate chip cookies from the oven. Guilt fills me from knowing that I’ve taken up some of her evening with her family, and the kindness in her eyes makes my heart hurt.

“Tell the Grangers that I say hello,” I reply. “I’m heading there next week for annual visits.”

“Me come?” Aidan asks.

This is a common refrain. Like most small children, he loves animals. Since I’m the only father figure he has, he wants to emulate everything I do.

As a result, I’m very careful about what I let him see and hear about my lifestyle. Shame claws through my gut that I need to be.

“One day you can come for ride-alongs with me, buddy,” I tell him. “But not yet.”

“Nofair,” Aidan whines, turning on the crocodile tears that let me know he’s battling exhaustion. He’s a joy to be around unless he’s tired. When he rubs his eyes, it only reinforces what I already knew.

“How about we have a special firetruck bath time, and then watch Ninja Turtles in my room on the big TV?”

Aidan will be out like a light in ten minutes, which will give me time to check on my dad and help with his nighttime routine. After that, I’ll eat a cold dinner and undoubtedly crash hard, too, because it’s been a wreck-me week.

Cuddling with my nephew sounds like the perfect end to it.

“Tomorrow see animals?” Aidan insists shrilly.

“Tomorrow we’re going to dinner and a movie with Auntie Victory,” I remind him.

His face lights up exactly how I imagine mine does at the mention of Victory.

“You mean, she actually agreed?” Julia asks hopefully.

“Well, she hasn’tnotagreed,” I reply. “I’m sure she won’t disappoint Aidan, even if that means tolerating some time with me.”

“It’s a shame she’s going home so soon.”

Julia’s heart starts and ends with Victory, and I know how hard it’s been on her and Kevin to have their only child so far away. Given they named herVictory, it shows how pivotal of an addition she was to their little family.

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