Page 94 of Perfect Alpha

I chuckle. “You always make everything better.”

“We have to run into the house,” Victory informs me. “It’s freezing.”

I rise with her in my arms and quickly carry her inside, setting her down in front of the fire. My eyes are glued to her perfect skin glowing in the soft light as awe fills me. She’s so fucking beautiful and makes my jaw drop every time I see her.

“Was that fast enough?” I ask hoarsely.

“Could have been a bit faster,” she teases. “But you shouldn’t have done it at all. You must be sore.”

“I can’t feel shit with the pills.”

“You’ll feel it later.”

I’m about to close the distance between us when she says, “I’m going to dry off and get ready for bed.”

Alone.

She doesn’t say it, but it’s implied. Her eyes rake across my body, the wet material of my boxer briefs clinging to my hard cock, and her breath hitches. She wants me, too, but she won’t let herself have me.

At least not tonight.

“Goodnight, Cade,” she whispers.

“Thank you for being here tonight, angel. Sleep in my bed, okay? I’ll stay down here on the couch. I don’t mind at all.”

Disappointment swells in my chest, but I’ll survive. I won’t try for anything physical while I work my ass off to get reconnected with her emotionally. That has to come first. We need our trust back.

I just hope it’s not too late.

Chapter 33

Victory

Eveningrief,thebusiness of living continues. Until you experience it, you don’t realize how many things need to be done when someone dies besides grieving. The funerals were a blur with only glimpses of memories standing out.

Cade and I both delivered eulogies. His was read carefully from a prepared cue card, and mine was made up on the spot. Both of our voices were tear-stained and reflected the hopelessness that has been our constant companion since the day we lost Hannah.

After an agonizing debate, we didn’t bring Aidan. He wouldn’t have understood, and we didn’t want to further traumatize him. He was partaking in a play date while we publicly mourned his mama and sibling, and we can only hope it was the right decision.

Hannah’s dad attended the funeral under a heavy dose of medication, but I’m not sure if he absorbed anything.

His eyes are always vacant now, and he must be constantly lost and confused. It’s such a depressingly stark difference from the bright, vibrant man he was in my childhood when he always had candies in his pocket for us and jokes ready to tell.

Today is his last day at home, and Cade has been snapping at me all morning. He carries guilt about this decision, too, even though it’s the best one for everyone.

Cade isn’t capable of working as much as he does, raising Aidan,andbeing a full-time caregiver – no one is. But he’s always had impossible expectations of himself.

“I think we’re ready to go, Carl,” I tell Cade’s dad gently.

We just shared lunch on the enclosed back porch that overlooks his property, and it breaks my heart that he probably won’t be back here again.

“I don’t want to go,” Carl replies.

He’s agitated, and it isn’t helping his son’s energy. Cade’s buzzing with adrenaline, and as the guy who has always fixed everyone’s problems, it’s killing him not to be able to solve his own. Our lives are coming apart at the seams, and I don’t know how to mend them.

“It’s beautiful there,” I remind Carl.

The home is set on gorgeous acreage, and residents are promised outside time every day. It’s expensive, but Hannah’s life insurance policy is helping to pay for it, in addition to creating a college fund for Aidan. It’s exactly what she would have wanted.

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