Page 46 of Concealed

And now that secrecy is what I’m used to.

No one ever sees me vulnerable.

He immediately climbs off me, and my body temperature drops twenty degrees as the warm, solid heat of his body lifts away. His hand shakes when he runs it through his hair and takes a few deep, unsteady breaths.

“I’m sorry,” he says, taking several steps back and sitting on the chair across from the couch. “I got carried away and–”

“No,” I interrupt. There is nothing that he did wrong. It’s me and my crazy issues. “I’m the one who is sorry. I just–”

Before I can get any more words out and give him some kind of explanation for running so hot and cold when I don’t even understand it myself, I burst into tears.

Awesome.

Now I officially look certifiable.

Wyatt returns to the couch and sits beside me, his arms enveloping me and pulling my head onto his chest.

He doesn’t say anything and just lets me blubber like an idiot. His presence is steady and unrelenting despite how hard and complicated I make everything, and being in his arms finally calms me down.

“How’s everything?” he asks softly. “How are you feeling?”

Part of me wants to be flip and try to make a joke, but we both know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words.

I have to swallow through the ache in my throat, but it’s an answer that I want to share with him. I don’t want any more awkwardness between us – if that’s even possible to change at this point.

“Like a bit of an idiot,” I start.

“Don’t worry about it. Really.”

Only Wyatt could give me such a genuine smile after I clumsily put the brakes on what I asked him to do. And now, I’m sure he’ll never want to kiss me again just in case I freak out over nothing.

“Thank you. I’m sorry. I just…”

I don’t have the words to explain why we’re talking now instead of kissing when I’d rather be doing the latter.

So, I change tracks completely.

“I’m finally making some traction in my life. The school board called today and wants me to come in for an interview in a couple of weeks. It’s just to be a substitute teacher after summer ends, but it’s something. It’s a start.”

“That’s amazing,” Wyatt replies, totally letting me off the hook without any further questioning. “You’ll nail it, I know you will.”

My first partner wasn’t abusive like Matt, but we were young and immature. I’ve never had a proper adult relationship.

Even though Wyatt and I aren’t dating, he’s giving me a glimpse of what it’s like to have someone in my corner who is rooting for my success. His vote of confidence helps to quiet the voice in my head that constantly whispers I can’t do it.

“I’m so glad that I left Matt because I know so many other women don’t have stories that end the way mine did. But it’s like… when can I stop being afraid and looking over my shoulder? I’m four hundred miles away, and sometimes still worry that he could show up at any moment.”

“You don’t have to tell me the answers to these questions,” Wyatt starts, and I have a sinking suspicion that I know exactly what he’s going to ask. “Why didn’t you push for a restraining order? What happened with the Vegas PD? Did you make a police report before you left?”

It’s well known that cops stick together, and while I half-expect to find skepticism and disbelief on Wyatt’s face, there’s only curiosity in his raised eyebrows and expectant eyes.

Maybe he’s starting to know me well enough to realize that I wouldn’t waltz into the police station with lies. But it’s clear as day that he wants to understand why no one with authority to help ever believed me and what the missing piece of the puzzle is.

He’s so earnest, and his eyes are so damn kind. Even though I just totally messed up our evening and the start of – well, whatever the hell we were going to do – he places his hand on mine and squeezes it, encouraging me to confide in him.

And even though I’ve been dreading saying the words, I’m finally ready for him to know the truth.

“I made a report with the Vegas PD in the past. It was early in my relationship with Matt, and it went nowhere. I didn’t bother making another one before I left because there was no point. It wouldn’t have gone anywhere this time either.”

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