God, I’m just as horrible as she is.
“It matters,” Dean replies, his voice eerily calm, “to me and to Dex. Even if GI Jane doesn’t care, you should have told us. We should have been the ones to decide whether or not there’s a conflict of interest.”
The fact that he called my boss GI Jane tells me he’s just connectedallof the pieces. The man is beyond intelligent. And I’m beyond screwed. Why, why, why do I keep doing stupid shit?
It’s like I sabotage my own happiness every chance I get.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. Very sorry. But I haven’t done anything unethical.” I turn to Dex, ready to get down on my knees if that will make him believe me. “I’ve never discussed anything with Dean. As you can see, he didn’t even know I was auditing your company.”
Dex studies Dean’s face for a moment, then nods. “I believe you, and I know that you didn’t mean any harm, Mia. It’s just a very…unfortunate…situation we’re all in now.”
“Well, I have an easy way to fix everything,” Dean says, and I’m not sure if I should be happy or terrified.
He turns to me, holding my eyes as I hold my breath. “We agreed no more lies, and then this situation happens hours later, after you just had the opportunity to tell me. We could have worked together on a solution, but instead, you blindsided me. Again. And publicly this time. I can’t trust you. And I can’t be with someone I don’t trust. I wish you the best, Mia. I always will. But we’re done.”
He passes the cake boxes to Bianca with a forced smile that makes my heart ache. “Lovely to meet you, Bianca, and here are the cakes we promised you. Please enjoy them. It’s a shame we didn’t meet under better circumstances. Dex, please give me a call later. I’ll be awake, so take your time.”
“Dean,” I call as he strides toward the private elevator, but he doesn’t look back.
I don’t know what to do. Should I follow him and beg for another chance because I seriously love him? Or should I let him go and give him time to process?
Lying about my identity was bad enough, but jeopardizing his business deal is unforgivable. Oh, God, what have I done?
“Mia, sweetheart, come in,” Bianca says, rubbing my shoulder. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
“Cleaned up?” I ask, my voice breaking. Then I feel the tears roll down my cheeks. Perfect, I’m a crying, lying mess. No wonder Dean left.
Correction, no wonder he left – me.
A sob racks my body and more tears fall. And I’m sure my nose is running, too.
“Oh, Mia,” she soothes, pulling me into a hug. “It’ll be okay. Come in and tell me everything.” She pulls me inside, leading me into a bathroom. “When you’re done, head up this hallway to the living room. I’m going to have our chef make you a hot drink.”
All I can do is nod as Bianca closes the door behind her. I look in the mirror and a stranger is staring back. I have no idea who this ragged, sad woman is, or how I’ve allowed her to inhabit my body.
Pathetic.
And all over a guy. You’d think I would have learned after the Kyle fiasco.
But Dean is nothing like Kyle – I’m the bad one in our case.
“Fuck you,” I whisper to the woman in the mirror. “Why do you keep doing this to us?”
* * *
Eventually,I make my way to the living room. It’s huge, but somehow still cozy with oversized, overstuffed furniture, and a roaring fire blazing in the white marble-cased fireplace.
Honestly, I can’t even imagine living this way. Huge, gorgeous place across from Central Park with no financial worries. And no cooking or cleaning. That’s my version of heaven.
“Mia,” Bianca calls again, pulling me back to earth. “Come sit down. Chef Marc made you an Irish coffee. If you’re hungry, he’ll plate our meals.”
I move to the sectional and sit beside my friend. “I’m sorry about everything. You went to a lot of trouble, and I’ve ruined the evening.”
She pats my hand. “You didn’t ruin anything. Now, why don’t you start at the beginning and tell me everything?”
And that’s exactly what I do. I spill my guts because the need to unload all of the crap I’ve been carrying inside me is overwhelming. I tell her everything, even things like the sex video that no one else knows.
Although I watch for it, Bianca’s mouth never slides open in shock or horror. She just listens intently, patting my hand now and then. She’s the least judgmental person I’ve ever met, even when I bring trouble to her door – literally – and I’m so grateful to have her in my life.