Page 70 of Seductive Scoundrel

I don’t have time for a girlfriend. And I don’t want one. At least, I didn’t.

But I do want Mia, and she wants more from me than I’ve ever been willing to give. Something about her still makes me want to change for her.

Before I can think about it any further, I’m reaching for my phone.

Dean: Sunday is a strange choice for a date.

Mia: It’s been forever since we’ve spoken, and that's what you’re opening with?

Dean: You’re right. Thank you for the gifts. Now can I say Sunday is a weird choice for date night?

Mia: I’m using your gift as we speak. I’m in Kansas visiting my parents, and I won’t be home until Sunday. I needed some time with them after... Everything.

I retreat into myself and my work when I’m off balance because I’ve always excelled in this space, and there’s nothing better to boost your confidence than winning. Mia is a small-town girl with country roots, the complete opposite of me, and I find it endearing she went home to her parents with a broken heart.

A heart that I broke by not being understanding.

My mom is always telling me life isn’t black and white, but I deal in absolutes. Once things in my personal life get grey, I lose interest because it’s simply too much emotional investment. But I was investing more of myself in Mia than I realized because the absence of her in my life is more potent than anyone else’s presence.

I haven’t even told my parents about her, and now I feel like an asshole. I'm due to make a phone call. And a visit. They would probably collapse from shock if I brought a woman home. Mia would win them over in an instant, but then they’d start dreaming about grandbabies and white picket fences when I prefer private jets and penthouses.

My life will never fit the expected societal mold and I’m okay with it. But a part of me – okay, abigpart and not the one between my legs either – wants to compromise and find a way to make Mia mine. To give her another chance. To trust her.

But it’s a risk, and there’s no way for me to run projections or do an analysis.

How the fuck do people navigate relationships?

In college, I risked every cent I had and my reputation on a long shot. It paid off, but could have easily gone another way. But I wouldn’t have given up. I would have raised more capital, come up with another idea, and tried again.

I’m a tenacious bastard, but with Mia, I just walked away. My reaction forces me to examine the fact that I’m scared of being powerless and giving another human being the ability to hurt me, throw me off my game, and bring chaos and disorder to my life.

It’s never felt worth it.

Not until Mia.

Dean: Sunday it is. I’d meet you there instead, but it’s Kansas and well…it’s Kansas.

Mia: You're such a snob. A real prick.

Dean: Maybe. But you still want me.

Mia: And only you. I'm sorry. Really.

Dean: I know. We’ll talk.

It’s probably not the reassurance she wanted, but agreeing to meet with her is a huge concession when I told myself that I was done playing games. I have no idea what I’m going to say when I see her.

And I only have two days to figure it out.

Chapter Twenty

Mia

The golden huesof autumn and rolling Kansas landscape are lost on me today. So are the smells and sounds that come with picking pumpkins at the farm on the outskirts of the city.

It’s been a tradition I’ve loved since I was a kid, but this year, I can’t enjoy it. My brain is stuck on Dean. That’s why I sent him the gifts and straight out asked for another chance – something I’ve never done. But then again, I’ve never felt quite this way about someone before. Even though he didn’t exactly say yes, he also didn’t tell me to go to hell – that’s something.

Or is it?

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