Page 38 of Stains of Desire
"No. But neither of us can go back to our countries," Julieta says.
"I need to get out of Belize," Vanessa blurts out.
"Axel said we should find out today what is going on." I try to appear positive even though I'm confident the Global Leaders are involved with our rescue.
"Guess we can't stay here forever," Vanessa jokes.
I stir the contents of the pancake mix faster. "Do you think it's strange how Naomi and Emilia showed up, and Interpol came to rescue them right away?"
"Well, I'm glad they were able to find them so quickly," Vanessa replies.
"That's not what I mean."
"Sorry. What are you getting at?"
"How did their intel have paperwork on all of us for the guys? Did they know about us for months but only rescued us because Naomi and Emilia were there?"
"Naomi asked the same question last night," Vanessa admits.
"They could have just rescued Naomi and Emilia," Julieta says.
"No. I spoke to Axel about it. He said that Interpol teams would come back and rescue others if they didn't know about us and discovered us during a mission. So their intel pretty much had to tell them about us, or it could have put the team in more danger and cost them more money."
Julieta pours her mixture onto the griddle.
"Tell me they have syrup," Vanessa mutters.
Julieta reaches down into a plastic crate and pulls it out.
"Yes."
"Vanessa, focus," I instruct.
"Oh. Sorry. I don't know what to tell you. We all know things we are keeping a secret. Does it matter at this point?"
Of course it matters. My daughter is out there with... I don't even know who has her.
I blink hard and put the bowl down. Grief floods me, digging into my heart and ripping it open further. "Eighteen months. That's a year and a half of my life and my daughter's. And who knows where she is."
Vanessa rises and puts her arm around me. "Hey, I didn't mean to be insensitive."
My tears fall fast. I shrug out of her grasp and stride as quickly as I can away, forgetting I'm shoeless, or I'm in the jungle and don't know anything about surviving in the woods.
"Penelope," Vanessa calls out, but I hardly hear her. The tide of anguish crashes all around me. It annihilates every part of my sorrow I've had to hide for a year and a half.
I don't pay attention to where I'm going. I push through the thick brush, sinking into mud, while my chest heaves in a tight concoction of thick air, anger, and painful sadness. My vision blurs from my tears.
The brush thins out. I come to the river. It's slippery, and I'm in distress. I don't see it, and I fall to the ground. Like an animal injured, I howl, unable to stop the slicing of my heart.
I don't hear or see him. Axel scoops me up in his arms.
But Pandora's box has been opened. I beat my fists into his chest, sobbing with anger.
How could I let them take my baby?
Why did I ever go to Panama City and take her away from England?
How could I have slept with William Davies and continued to all those years?
