Page 2 of Stains of Desire
1
Penelope
21 Months Earlier
"I've donewhat you've asked. I'm ready to go back to England. Please. Let Millie and me return home," I say to William Davies, the U.K. ambassador stationed at the Panama Canal. He's my boss and, against my better judgment, my lover.
But I shouldn't call him that. He's everything a lover shouldn't be.
Cold. Callous. Ruthless. Selfish beyond comprehension. Greedy.
It happened a few years ago, in a moment of weakness. I had a double whammy hit me on my first day in Panama. I went to the store to buy groceries and got mugged. It also happened to be the anniversary of the death of Millie's father, Oliver. We were engaged and due to wed when he got into a car accident a few weeks before our wedding. Millie had only turned one when it happened, so she doesn't remember him.
When I got safely into the embassy after being mugged, and finally got Millie to sleep, William stopped by to make sure I was okay.
The loneliness of being a single mother in a strange country, and the victim of a crime, hit me all at once. The only reason I took the transfer to Panama was to provide for Millie; I didn't want to be here. But Oliver had no insurance, and my salary significantly increased when I took the transfer.
William and I had known each other since we were school children in England. He was older than me by ten years, but we grew up in the same village. Before I met Oliver, William wanted me. But I never had feelings for him.
For years, I worked for him, skirting around his advances, until I hooked up with Millie's dad. It should have ended William's quest to make me his, but the heat in his eyes still burned whenever he glanced my way. And I always brushed it off.
Moving to Panama, away from everything I knew, I couldn't escape what he wanted. I already knew I would never have feelings for him, but the emotional day broke me. It had been so long since a man's arms were around me. And I caved.
William claimed me as his ever since that fateful error. There's no way around it. He's my boss. He's the ambassador. He's a global leader.
I didn't know what a global leader was or that William was one at the time. But over the years, I've learned more than I want to know. I wish I could go back to being ignorant of the truth, but it's impossible.
"You want to leave me?" he snarls, his eyes turning darker and face reddening with anger.
Stay calm. I need to get Millie out of this country.
"We've talked about this. It's not about you. I miss home and you won't be stationed here forever."
Not that I'll come anywhere near you once I'm safely home.
Who am I kidding? He'll always have power over me. Anywhere I go, he'll have access to find me.
He snorts, goes to the bar, and pours two fingers of whiskey in a crystal cut glass. He drinks half of it and sits in the armchair. "I'm not ready to give up my position. And I'm not giving you up, either. That goes for the needs I have at the office and in my bed."
My stomach churns. Every touch from him sends a shiver down my back. Not the hot and tingly one but the cold, dangerous, get-me-away-from-him kind.
But if I don't put up with it, I know the consequences. He's warned me numerous times he'll take my daughter from me. And I have to protect her.
He's going to own me forever.
"Please. You told me—"
"You've always done this." He chugs the rest of his whiskey.
"Done what?"
He sets the glass down on the table with a thump, and I wonder if the bottom cracked. He steps in front of me. His tall frame towers over me. I should love it, but I don't. The wrinkles around his eyes intensify from his scowl, and his forehead shines under the light. "Since you were a child, you've been wishy-washy and indecisive. Instead of thinking with your brain, you make rash decisions based on what you feel. Well, I'll be the one to make the decisions, since you're incapable of making good ones."
"William—"
"End of subject. You're not leaving until I get on a plane with you. Understood?"
I swallow the thick knot in my throat. "Wil—"
