Page 169 of Stains of Desire
She clutches me tighter. "Don't leave me, mummy."
I stroke her hair. "I'm not going anywhere. It's late. Let's go back to sleep."
I take her back to her room, and she quickly falls asleep in my arms.
I don't leave the room. I keep thinking about the conversation on the deck and how I can help Millie. And as much as I don't want to admit it, and as hard as it's going to be, I realize I need to deal with the things I went through so I can be the best mum I can to Millie.
Hours pass. Axel comes in and puts a blanket over me. He crouches down and kisses my forehead.
"What are you doing?" I whisper.
"Figured you weren't leaving tonight."
"Sorry. I just..." I release an emotional breath.
He strokes my hair. "No sorries. It's the first night back. Do you need anything?"
"No."
He kisses my lips. "I'll see you in the morning."
I trace his lips with my fingertips. "Thank you for understanding."
He winks and leaves.
Millie doesn't move until morning. She wakes up before I do, strokes my cheek, and whispers, "Mummy?"
I open my eyes. "Hey, gorgeous girl."
Her green eyes glisten, and she kisses my cheek then snuggles into me.
I hug her tighter, so happy to have her with me again, and try not to cry. We lie together for a long time, content on just being together, until the door slowly opens.
Axel peeks his head through.
"Morning," I say.
Millie picks her head up.
"I'm making pancakes with chocolate chips. Do you want to help, Millie?"
She jumps off my lap. "Okay."
My soft laugh is bittersweet. She's grown up so much since I last saw her.
Axel opens the door wider and crouches down. He holds out his fist and she bumps it but then throws her arms around him. He quickly embraces her and smiles. "Good morning."
My heart soars watching them.
When she pulls back, he says, "Can you go downstairs and help Dirk with the chocolate chips? I think he might be trying to eat them all."
She dramatically gasps. "No!" She runs out the door and shouts, "Dirk!"
I rise. "Someone is a fan of pancakes."
Axel steps toward me and pulls me into his arms. "Good thing." He kisses me. "How did you sleep?"
"Good."
