Page 74 of Cavern of Silence
I rise and walk to the sink, taking deep breaths and trying not to punch him. I stare out the window and into the blackness of the night. When Maureen died, all the guys came to Ireland. For several nights they all stayed, but one by one, they had to leave for missions. Our skills are rare, and it was a miracle they were all able to be at the funeral, much less stay for several days.
My entire house became a camp of blow-up mattresses, takeout, and empty beer bottles. Andre and Dirk were the first called back to work. The next day, Kalim and the rest of the team he usually heads got assignments. Axel and Malin got called away after a week. Hunter was the last one of the group to leave. For three weeks, he stayed and kept taking phone calls in private. I told him to take the missions and go, but he said he had vacation time and wasn't even needed yet. He was lying, and I knew it but was happy not to be alone.
When Hunter finally had to return to work, only Tinker remained. For two months, I couldn't get rid of him until I insisted that he go.
But he didn't. He booked a hotel room in town, and every night when the loneliness and grief would hit me the worst, he would show up at my doorstep and make me go to the pub or distract me with a card game or some other activity.
He finally agreed to return to Honduras. Several days passed. I thought he had left. Once again, I was wrong.
Three nights on my own, and the finality of Maureen's death hit me. I couldn't stop the pain. Somehow, Tinker knew. He barged into my house. I was sitting at the table, drunk, and spinning the cylinder of my fully loaded revolver, wondering if it was worth living without her anymore.
Broken, full of grief, and unable to see any future, I cried like a baby in his arms. The next day, he made me go to grief therapy and only left when my counselor sat him down and told him he needed to go home.
He argued with her for hours, and she explained that I wasn't suicidal and couldn't move forward if he didn't allow me to be on my own.
So, as much as I want to beat his face to a bloody pulp right now, in my heart, I understand he's trying to protect me. And a few days ago, I would have agreed with Tinker it wasn't possible for me to find anyone who made me feel an ounce of what Maureen did. But the moment I laid eyes on Julieta, the numbness I've felt since Maureen died lifted. My feelings for Julieta are like a freight train coming at me. I didn't expect them, but they are there, and I can't explain it and don't care to overanalyze how I can feel what I'm feeling so fast. They are real, and I'm going to do everything in my power to show Julieta how much I want her in my life.
But I don't even try to explain it to Tinker. He won't understand it. He's a great guy and a tremendous friend. Unfortunately, he lacks the ability to give his heart to a woman. And I'm not going to even try to justify my feelings or actions to him.
Hunter comes in, and the conversation returns to our situation. Tinker takes our photos for the passports in the living room, and we return to the kitchen. Every five minutes, Hunter leaves to check on Vanessa, but she's still in a state of panic.
Julieta finally comes inside, and he stays on the deck.
I pull her into my lap and ignore Tinker's worried eyes. "Is Vanessa okay?"
"She is now."
"Did she say what happened?"
Julieta shifts. "I think it's between her and Hunter. Are you okay not discussing it?"
"Sure."
"Thanks."
Tinker clears his throat. "Julieta, can I get your photo for the passport?"
She rises. "Sure."
I follow them to the family room, and Tinker positions her against the wall and snaps her photo.
"Thank you for helping us," she says.
"Ma'am. It's no problem."
Julieta groans. "Not you, too."
"What?"
"Please, call me Julieta."
"You're making her feel old," I inform Tinker.
"Old? What are you? Twenty-eight?"
She tilts her head in disbelief. "Are you trying to butter me up?"
"What do you mean?"
