Page 6 of Cavern of Silence
"I'm sorry?"
"I'm a flight attendant."
She closes her eyes. "I apologize. I... I—"
"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I walk over to the wall and sit.
They follow me.
"How long have you been here?" Zoe asks.
"Not sure. Several months."
"In this pit?" she cries out.
"Yeah. But it's better than being with Jonas Torres." It's a realization that hit me after a few weeks of being Santiago's hostage.
In the hole, I only have to deal with myself. The only times I have contact with others is the river baths. While I'm confident Santiago will eventually show his face to get whatever information out of me he's looking for, his absence has given me a break from my old reality. The anxiety I felt daily, due to the men I served on the flights, has evaporated, except for the times I have to visit the river.
Being alone down here is better than being with Jonas, aside from the emotions I have to deal with thinking about how screwed up my entire life has become.
And I wonder, more and more, what the point of fighting for my life is. The Global Leaders have everything in motion to take over the world. The freedom I used to have, they took from me. Soon, everyone in the world will know what it's like to have everything crash down around them.
At some point in time, I loved my life. I thought I had everything—a husband I loved, a good career, and dreams.
But reality can be a cruel hoax. And I learned I'm all alone in the world.
Is anyone even looking for me?
Even Zoe Diego, who I met several times and defied Jonas to help, doesn't remember me.
When I try to sleep at night, the only thought going through my head is, "How did I become so unlovable?"
2
Ryker
"Ryker. Good to have you back,"Malin says and clasps my hand.
"Thanks. Good to be back."
"How are you doing?"
"Great. What's the situation?" I don't want to talk about my personal life. It's done. There's nothing I can do about it. No matter how much I loved Maureen, she's never coming back.
You don't have a personal life anymore.
The last year, I've come to terms with it. It still hurts. I don't think it will ever stop. But instead of the sharp pain I used to feel, it's now more of a dull ache.
Life by myself took some adjusting to. Walking into an empty house and realizing Maureen wasn't out to the store, or with her sisters, or anywhere else she normally would be was the hardest. She was never coming back and the pain seemed even more intense after returning from a mission.
Then there's nighttime. At first, I cried into her pillow every night. The scent of her was still on it. It comforted me and also strangled me with the truth. She was never coming back. This was the new way of life. Loneliness. Emptiness. And the grief not only over her but over us. There would never be anyone again who would understand me the way she did, or love and accept all my imperfections. And how could anyone else ever make me feel alive again?
They say you're lucky if you truly fall in love once, and I slowly learned to be grateful for what we had and the years we did get, even if it cruelly ended way before it should have.
Interpol eased me back into work, assigning me jobs I would call "easy missions." The itch I've had to be back with the guys only grew the longer I was away. Andre handpicked our team, and these men are the best of the best. And they were with me through the Marines and all of my personal issues throughout the years Maureen was sick and after her death.
Malin fills me in on the situation while we walk over to where the rest of the team is. We get reacquainted, and Andre hands each of us the folders on our targets.
