Page 68 of Haze of Obedience
"That's a hard one. Do I have to pick only one?"
"Yep."
"Probably the swimming caverns in Cenote Dzitnup, Mexico."
"I've not been there. I always wanted to, but my schedule didn't allow it. When did you go?"
"A long time ago. I went after one of your concerts. It was my favorite tour of yours."
"Yeah? Which one?"
"Your Fallen Angel tour."
The happiest smile I've seen fills her face. "That was about a year before I switched management teams. I loved that tour. I designed it all."
"You did?"
She turns her body toward me and lowers the seat back a few inches. "Mm-hmm. I worked with the choreographers and costume designers. Everything was how I wanted it."
"Well, now you're just bragging," I tease her. "You should have won awards for it. I've never seen anything like it."
"Are you trying to butter me up?"
"No. You have mad talent."
"Hmm."
"You do."
"Thanks," she quietly says.
"Can I ask you something I've always wondered about?"
"Sure. Hit me with it."
I slow down. There's a real road. It's not busy, but it has two-lanes of maintained dirt. I stop, look at the compass that is on my watch, and turn. "What is the story behind your song, Surrender?"
"I thought you followed me on social media."
"I do."
She quietly says, "Then you know the story."
"I don't buy the story you put out."
"Why?"
"It's too deep. When you sing it, I get teary-eyed from the emotion. The interview when you told the reporter it had to do with surrendering to love after being burned didn't seem to fit."
She stays silent for several minutes. "It's about the pain of realizing that your only option is to surrender because no matter what happens, you can't change your situation."
Every word of her song now makes sense. My heart shatters with the new understanding and how she felt when she wrote it, and every time she sings it.
I reach over and grab her hand. "Maybe you'll write a new song now."
"What do you mean?"
"About how things can change."
