Page 130 of Haze of Obedience
I lean on my side, my face propped on my elbow. "You said you were fourteen when you ran away."
"Yeah."
"What was that like?"
"Crazy. Scary. Heart-wrenching, but exciting."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't want to leave my family and friends, but I couldn't imagine not singing. My boyfriend was seventeen. He saved money and convinced me to go to Mexico City with him." She pauses and frowns. "Roberto had all these grand ideas about city life. But it wasn't what he thought. He lasted a year, but then he went back home."
"You stayed by yourself?"
She nods. "There was a bar owner who took to me. He's the one who gave me tapes on how to speak English. He told me I needed to learn so I could crossover to the United States one day." She smiles. "Leon had a room above his bar. He made sure I was fed and would even go to gigs with me as my bodyguard. When my first manager Rafael signed me, he had his attorney look over my contract to make sure it was legit."
"He sounds like a good man."
"He is. A lot could have happened to me. I..."
I wait.
"When I was fourteen, I didn't know the evil that existed. So much could have happened. I sang in bars almost every night. I was in a massive city with no family. But I sailed through it all. And then when I hit my thirties, when I should have had it all together, it's like the universe wanted me to pay my dues or something."
I pull her closer. "No, my Little Diva. That's not how it works. You got into a situation that no one should ever be in."
"I don't want to go back to them," she whispers.
"You won't."
"They're everywhere. I can't hide forever."
"We'll figure it out."
"I know you have your reservations, but I need you to show me how to defend myself. I can't just take it again." She wipes a tear off her cheek.
Show her now. She needs to feel empowered.
"Give me your fingers."
"My fingers?"
"Yes."
She holds them up, and I position them. "You have three parts on your arm that are important. Your fingers..." I imitate an eye jab, "...the heel of your palm..." I tap the spot on her hand where she would hit someone, "...and your elbow."
"Fingers, heel, elbow," she repeats.
"Good. Tomorrow I'll show you what I mean."
"And if I had a knife?"
I take her hand and slash my throat. "Aim for the jugular if you need to kill. It'll create a lot of blood loss."
"How do I shoot with a gun?"
Show her then have the talk.
"Turn on the flashlight."
