Page 92 of Haze of Obedience
"How do I kill them? If they touch me again? Teach me how to kill them."
"Zoe, they aren't coming near you ever again."
"You don't know that!" I cry out. "Please. You can show me how to protect myself."
He stays silent.
I misinterpret his silence, and paranoia sets in. "Are you part of them? Oh God. You are, aren't you? Interpol...oh God." I cover my hand to my mouth, and my stomach twists.
"What? No. Zoe! How could you think that?"
"Then why won't you show me?"
"You're not going back to them. I don't want you worrying about something that isn't going to happen."
I scoot to the other side of the bed and get out. "So, you won't train me?"
"You aren't a killer. There are consequences to killing people. It's another demon in itself."
"So you would rather I let them do whatever they want with me?"
He rises. "No. Of course not. But things can go wrong. You could end up killing yourself."
"I don't care. I would rather be dead than have them touch me."
He steps toward me, and I retreat to the wall. "I don't want any of those bastards touching you, nor do I want you dead."
"Then show me how to defend myself. Please."
He stands so close his body touches mine. "Is this what you need from me?"
"Yes. Please. I won't ask for anything else. Just...I...please," I cry again.
He tugs me to him. "Okay. I will show you."
I weep in his arms.
After time passes, he murmurs, "You need sleep, my Little Diva." He guides me to the bed.
I curl up in his arms, and when my breathing is almost normal, I glance up.
"I'm sorry, I'm not normal. I want to be, but I'm not."
He wipes my face with his thumbs. "What's normal to you?"
"What do you mean?"
"How do you define normal?"
"I...I'm not sure but someone without all this baggage."
"We all have problems, Zoe. Yours suck because other people hurt you. They weren't the problems you chose."
"I did. I switched managers."
He puts his thumbs on my lips. "No. You need to stop blaming yourself for that. You did what anyone with your talent would do. Nothing that happened to you is your fault."
"It—"
