Page 21 of Haze of Obedience
5
Zoe
Only when Ihear Dirk get up and leave, do I open my eyes.
The last time I trusted a man, it was Antonio. Kissing him stirred the flutters in my gut. But kissing Dirk created a whirlwind of desire in my core I've never felt before.
And it scares the crap out of me.
I thought Antonio would protect and love me. I couldn't have been more wrong. And then he showed me that I was only his property, to use and take from whenever he wanted. After that, every man has done the same. I hated every single moment and each one of them.
Kissing Dirk was like opening a floodgate of feelings, possibilities, and reminders of what I'd been missing.
Nothing good can come of it.
He's a man, and you've been with enough to know that they are all the same.
But is he? Is that fair?
You don't have the luxury of finding out.
I take another deep breath, trying to forget about how it felt to be in his arms, or the way our bodies reacted to each other's. But the memories are tattooed on my brain, and they won't stop flashing.
The girls all begin to wake up. When everyone is gone, I can't hide anymore. I also need to go to the bathroom, so I put on my muddy heels and step outside.
I run right into Dirk.
"Sorry," we both say at the same time.
He opens his mouth but shuts it.
"Bathroom?" I ask.
He glances around the tent. "It's over there. The others are all done. Want me to carry you, so you don't get stuck?"
"Nope, I'm good. Thanks." I take a few strides.
"Zoe."
"Gotta go. Talk later," I reply and continue toward the treeline.
I trudge through the mud and uneven ground and do my business. I stay away from Dirk and focus on the other women.
"Where's Vanessa?" I ask Penelope.
"She went to the river to wash up."
"That sounds good. I'd kill for a bar of soap right now."
Dirk's deep voice booms behind me. "I've got you covered, Little Diva. And I was just headed there."
I should be insulted when he calls me 'Little Diva,' but I don't think he means it derogatory. Maybe I'm just crazy from being held captive for so long, but I get little flutters every time he calls me it.
I close my eyes. There's no getting out of this. I open them, spin then force a smile. "Great."
"Bye," Penelope chirps.
"See you in a bit."
