Page 166 of Marks of Rebellion
She gives me another piece, and we sit quietly, gazing at the water for several moments.
The announcements come back on, and the beep once again makes her jump.
"Flower, we should stay here today."
A line forms between her eyes. "No. We're going."
"I just think—"
"I'll try harder not to jump! I'm sorry!"
"You don't need to apologize."
Great. Now I'm giving her anxiety about when she's startled.
Her eyes fill with tears. "Don't turn this into a prison."
"I'm not trying to."
"If you keep me here when I want to leave, you are. Don't do that, please. I want to enjoy this room and view and us here together. I don't want to feel like I'm trapped."
"I'm sorry. That isn't my intention, I swear."
"I know it's not. And if you told me it wasn't safe for us to leave this room, I could handle it. But if it is safe, then I need to try and be normal."
I should have told her it isn't safe.
Then I would be lying to her.
But maybe it isn't.
There's no reason for me to think that.
"Okay, but if it's too much, will you promise to tell me so we can come back?"
"Yes. I promise."
"Okay. Can we at least wait an hour to give people time to get off the ship?"
She smiles. "Sure."
I put my coffee down and pat my thigh. "Come here, then."
She sits on my lap.
"I think I have a goal to meet."
"What's that?"
"I think I'm capable of a ten."
She softly laughs, and we spend the next hour lip to lip.
"Am I a ten yet?"
"Hmmm... I think you need to keep trying today."
"Ouch. You're killing my ego."
