Page 129 of Marks of Rebellion
Anything with Carlos is pain. Past, present, or future, I want to tell her. But I know it's pointless and I'm only asking for trouble.
"See you tomorrow. And take a shower and put some effort into it." She turns and leaves.
When the door shuts, the click of the lock echoes, and I'm reminded of the prison I live in. For a brief moment, I was free with Hunter. Now, the reality of my life tumbles in front of me.
I step as close to the balcony edge as possible and stare at the jungle, wondering if he's out there, or if Arja is telling the truth, and he is dead.
Uncontrollable sobs take over. I fall to the ground, gripping the bars of the railing and praying that somewhere in the greenery, Hunter is there and he can see me and will rescue me.
But the more I cry, the less I see how it's possible.
An army of men with machine guns guards Carlos's fortress. Everywhere I turn, I see them.
Eventually, I force myself to shower, put on makeup, and do my hair. The straitjacket wrap is still on my bed, reminding me that one misstep, and I'll be back in it and committed to an institution for life.
When I'm finished, I go back on the balcony and scan the jungle some more, but I don't see anything.
Monkeys jump and swing from branches, and it's another reminder I'm not free. The animals in the jungle are, but I'm not. I'm a prisoner of Carlos's. An inmate for life in his fortress. How long is my sentence? I don't know, but it can't be for decades or even years.
Carlos is scheduling the wedding in a month. My nightmares all show me my fate.
I am not marrying him.
I go inside and try to find something, anything, that I could use to end my sentence in hell early, but there's nothing.
In desperation, I run out to the balcony and look down.
Two stories. Will I die if I jump or just injure myself, setting myself up for a more painful life?
I sit on the edge and contemplate shoving myself backward. I turn again to see where I would land, and if I will get the result I want. That's when I see them.
Red hibiscuses lay scattered on the edge of the jungle.
They weren't there earlier, were they?
Am I seeing things?
I peer closer.
Red hibiscuses grow in the jungle, but they could only be where they are if someone put them there.
Can it be? Is he alive? Is he here watching me?
I wipe my face and peer closer and hold my hand out as if he could magically touch me.
I stare at the flowers for hours. When Esther brings my lunch, I have her put it on the balcony. I eat a bit of the food so I don't get in trouble and lose my outdoor privileges.
The hope that Hunter is out there burns bright in my soul. It's love. It's pain. It's every emotion I've ever felt, and it overwhelms me but gives me a reason to go on for one more day.
Because I would do anything to see Hunter one more time.
24
Hunter
For a month,I've been in the jungle, watching the balcony and waiting for her to appear.
She never steps out.
