Page 152 of Depths of Destruction
"Sure."
We fill mugs and sit on the deck, which overlooks the ocean. "You have an amazing house. And your beach is incredible."
"Thanks. Now that I'm done, I can enjoy it." He takes a sip of coffee.
"Is it strange?"
"What's that? Not knowing what's next?"
"Well, I wasn't sure if you had some sort of plans..."
He cracks his neck and stares at the ocean. "Nope. I'm going to just be for a while."
"That's understandable."
Maybe it's what I need. Andre keeps telling me to just give it time. I should listen to him.
"Andre said you're a hotshot reporter?”
“Ha! Yes...well, I was. I'm not sure where my career is going right now."
"Is the uncertainty giving you anxiety?"
I hadn't thought about it before. I think about his question for a moment. "I suppose it is."
He nods, as if he understands.
I take a sip of coffee and watch the waves roll on the shore.
"Can I ask you something?"
I turn to him. "Hmm?"
"I don't want to pry, but you mentioned you weren't sleeping a lot?"
"I've had bad dreams. I'm sure Andre told you though?" I smirk.
He grins. "Busted."
"It's okay. He's worried, and it's probably good he has someone to talk to besides my crazy self."
"You aren't crazy," he says with so much insistence I'm tempted to believe him.
The old Naomi wasn't crazy. The new one sure as hell is.
"A pretty big portion of the day, and night for that matter, I feel like I am."
"But you aren't."
"No? How can you be sure?"
Blaise focuses on the ocean then slowly turns toward me. His eyes are full of self-loathing, sadness, and understanding. "I struggle with...things."
I turn more in my chair and put my knee against the back of it. "What kinds of things?"
"Night terrors and insomnia. Flashbacks during the day. Anxiety and panic attacks."
"It doesn't go away, then?" My gut drops and pulse increases, thinking I'm going to always be this way.
