Page 146 of Depths of Destruction
"It will. Give it time."
He keeps telling me to give it time, but all I see is a ticking clock in front of me.
Emilia needs to be found.
Whatever Ezra was trying to tell me could be time sensitive.
We still are running, in all reality, from the President of the United States, the man in charge of the most powerful country in the world.
"I don't have a lot of time."
"You have as much time as you need. You can't rush it."
"I can't function like this."
"You'll figure out how to cope. It'll—"
"I don't want to cope," I angrily spout.
Andre's eyes widen.
I cover my face with my hands.What am I doing?
Why am I yelling at him?
It's not Andre's fault I'm all messed up in the head.
He takes both my hands in his. "The car is waiting. We need to go. We will figure this out. I promise you."
I allow him to lead me off the plane. There's no one on the runway except for the driver, who is in the car.
When we get inside, I say hello, and he returns my gesture. But he never turns to look at me and doesn't say anything after that. The entire way, I sink into Andre's chest and worry about how I'm going to keep him.
I'm not the same woman he fell in love with. I know it. He knows it. There's no hiding from the truth.
The airport is about forty minutes from the house. We ride in silence, and I stare out the window. It might be in the most beautiful place I've ever been, but it passes me by unappreciated.
The more I think about how to save my relationship with Andre, the faster the clock ticks in my head. When we finally pull up to the house, I can't handle it anymore.
I jump from the car and trot onto the secluded beach. As I stand at the water's edge, I yell and pull my hair. Tears flow out of my eyes, and I collapse on the sand, having a total breakdown.
Andre pulls me onto his lap, and I sob.
The world is spinning around me. Everything I could ever want, I had for a brief moment in time. But I feel it all slipping away, disappearing in the opposite direction from where I am going.
And I don't know how to get it back.
26
Andre
Every dayI struggle to figure out how to best help Naomi. Her night terrors seem to get worse, and it's taking me longer and longer to pull her out of them.
The brightness in her eyes has faded to dull pain. Even during the day, when the sun is shining and she's awake, it doesn't seem to bring her any happiness.
I'm not a doctor, but I don't need to be one to know she has PTSD. I've seen it before with guys I served with, as well as my brothers. While I've had night terrors myself, they were never as bad as what I'm witnessing Naomi go through, and I don't know what to do to help her.
It's been another restless night, and she's now been calmly sleeping for a good three hours, which is a new record. It's around seven in the morning and looks as if it's going to be another beautiful day.
