Page 136 of Depths of Destruction
"Shh. It's just a nightmare," Andre coos.
"Oh God. I'm sorry." I sob. My body is trembling, which it seems to do now at almost all hours of the day. The heart pains are back to stabbing me like knives. And the guilt I feel about involving Ezra in my story gnaws at my soul.
"No sorries. You're safe. Just breathe, baby." He moves his hand off my back.
"Don't let go of me," I cry out then clutch him tighter.
"I don't want to hurt your back."
"It's fine." I snuggle into him, trying to breathe normally again. "Put your arm back around me."
Andre hesitates but gently embraces me.
"Tighter."
He obeys. "You sure I'm not hurting you?"
"Yes. I need you to hold me," I whisper.
He spends several moments kissing my head and caressing my hair then murmurs, "Did you have a flashback?"
I nod.
"It feels real, doesn't it?"
I tilt my head up. The room is dark, but the glow of the moonlight makes it bright enough to see his face. "Yes. How do you know?"
Understanding fills his eyes. "I've had them before."
"You have?"
"Yes. After my first tour."
"They went away?" I ask, almost scared he'll tell me they haven't, and I'll always have these terrors.
"Mostly."
"How long did it take?"
He cups my face and brings his closer to mine. "You can't put a time frame on it, Naomi. And every now and again, it sneaks up on me."
I shudder.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
For several moments, I don't speak. He patiently waits for me, and I finally tell him, "Ezra said, 'Behind closed doors,' and Santiago stuck his hands down my pants and told me my fate is going to be worse one day. Then the whipping and zapping started." Another tear falls.
His arms tighten around me. Darkness fills his eyes. "Santiago put his hands in your pants?"
"Yes. The back..." I swallow the knot in my throat. Remembering the feeling of Santiago's hands on my bare skin and smelling his sweaty stench makes me ill.
Andre takes a deep breath and holds my face next to his again. "I promise you, if it's the last thing I do, I will kill him."
"Please don't leave me," I beg.
He wraps me back in his strong, warm arms. "Baby, I'm not."
I slide on my knees, straddling him, and glide my hands through his hair. "I'm scared."
