Page 180 of Carnal

A hungry expression fills his face. Zings erupt in all my cells. He sniffs hard. "We'll look at that room on a different day."

"No way! What's in there?"

He takes a deep breath. "Pina, let's skip it today."

"Why, what's in there?"

His hesitancy doesn't end. He reiterates, "That's a room for down the road."

I tilt my head and pout. "So you're not going to let me see it?"

He assesses me further.

"I can handle it," I claim.

He stays silent, debating what to do.

"Why are you nervous?" I ask.

"I'm not," he asserts.

"Then why can't I see it?"

He caves. "Okay. If you really want to see it, go ahead."

I reach for the doorknob and step inside. I inhale sharply, glancing around the space. The only colors are black, hot pink, and pewter. Sex toys, furniture, and restraints are spread around the room. I cautiously question, "Is this the room you normally restrain me in? The one that's always in my dreams?"

He shifts on his feet, shakes his head, and admits, "No. You've never seen this. I've always had it. When you showed me your place, and we grew closer, I started transitioning it to mimic yours."

I gape at him. "You created this room to look like mine?"

"Yeah. I wanted to marry you. And the moment that I knew in my heart that you were the one, I wanted you to live here. I wanted to surprise you. Maybe it's dumb, but I thought if you had all the things you already have at your place, you'd think of this place as yours."

Tears well in my eyes. I blink hard, but I can't stop them from falling. I stare at him, trying to make sense of everything. Then I step forward so we're inches apart. I open my mouth, shut it, and open it again. I finally blurt out, "I don't know what to say."

He quickly replies, "You don't have to say anything, Pina."

I glance around again, declaring, "This is amazing, Tristano. It feels just like the one in my dreams."

He stays silent, deep in thought.

"Say whatever is on your mind, please," I order.

He reaches for my face then freezes. He drops his hand, stares at the ceiling, and clenches his jaw.

I place my hands on his cheeks.

He slowly meets my eyes, revealing, "This is hard, Pina."

More tears fall. I nod. "I know."

"Most of the time, I don't know if I'm screwing up with you," he confesses.

Panic fills me. "You aren't. You've been nothing but amazing with me."

His jaw twitches. He stares at my lips. Time stands still with the air crackling between us. I think he's going to kiss me, but then he retreats, announcing, "Let's finish the tour. I need to shower."

The rest of the tour is pretty silent. We arrive at his bedroom suite. He announces, "This is my room."

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