Page 104 of Crazed

She looks at the floor, quietly asking, "After you kill me, can you sprinkle my ashes over my father's grave? It's an unmarked city plot since I had no money to buy a headstone when he died. But I can write down how to find it."

Everything I thought I knew about myself, I now question. I assumed if anyone ever conspired to betray me, I'd take them out without a second thought. I'm unsure if I'm more upset because she doesn't understand how deep my love for her goes and is presuming I'll kill her, or if I'm more pissed I don't even know if I have the guts to turn her over to my family so they can do it for me.

The only thing I'm sure of is that the thought of her dead and sprinkled over her father's city burial plot makes me want to die alongside her.

I officially have the biggest problem I've ever faced.

21

Katiya

"Who said I'll kill you?"Massimo asks.

I glance at him. "I just told you everything."

He clenches his jaw, assessing me. I force myself not to squirm under his leer. In a flat voice, he states, "Maybe I'll keep you locked up in a room. Make you suffer longer for your sins."

I tear my eyes off him, focusing on the floor and twisting my fingers in my lap. The last thing I wanted was to be in this position. He's hurt by my admission. It's written all over his face, and I've always known this day was coming. Fighting more tears, I mumble, "Eventually, I'll die. Could you at least give me my final wish?"

I've only been to my father's burial plot a few times. It's hard for me to go. Everything that's happened to me since he died brings me shame. As soon as one situation ends, another one seems to pop up. I'm not living the life my father intended for me to experience. If he were still alive, it'd kill him. And I hate how I can't afford a proper tombstone for him. At least if I'm sprinkled on top of the dirt, he won't be alone.

Massimo replies, "Who says I'll cremate you?"

I squeeze my eyes shut. It was stupid of me to make this request. Did I really think the man who holds my fate in his hands would show any mercy upon me? I mutter, "Forget I said anything."

Tense silence fills the small room. The whir of the engines, Massimo's deep breathing, and the pounding of my heart are the only sounds. I can't take the stress between us anymore. I rise.

He reaches for my arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

My lips and hands tremble harder. I spin, responding, "I'm tired."

He lifts the covers and tugs me on the bed in a quick move. I gasp, and he slides next to me and spoons me. "Then it's time to sleep."

The warmth of his body is like a torture device. I sink into it, fitting next to him like a puzzle piece. It feels safe and full of love, but there's no hiding the reality of our situation. It chokes me up further. The more I try to hide my emotions inside, the worse the quivering in my belly gets.

He tightens his hold on me, cocooning me against his hard flesh. He sighs then quietly says, "Nothing is happening tonight. Close your eyes and sleep."

Nothing I do allows me to stop shaking. I've never felt so out of control of my emotions. Even when Ludis and Leo would have their way with me, I held a lot inside. Now, it's like I escaped Pandora's box. Every ounce of strength I have is gone. The guilt and shame over my life since my father died thickens. My lungs seem unable to take in any more air. I break down, sobbing.

Massimo sighs, kisses my head, then presses his lips to my ear. "How would you have done it?"

I freeze.

"Tell me your plan," he demands.

Blood pulses in my veins. I sniffle then admit, "I don't know."

He softens his voice, "Please don't lie to me. Not now."

I turn to him. "I swear. I don't know. Leo kept threatening to kill me since I wasn't giving him any information."

Massimo adds, "But he didn't."

"Not yet. He would have," I insist.

We hit more turbulence. The jet shakes harder and louder than before. Everything rattles around us, and I wince from the sound.

He slides his hands over my ears, pinning his blues on me until the noise subsides.

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