Page 79 of Toxic

"I have kids," I reply.

"The kids are fine. Fiona will be in her room all night, and Sean is going to be in his. Stop using them as an excuse."

"I'm not," I insist, but it comes out weak.

"Jesus, Bridge. When are you going to stop running from us?"

"I keep telling you there is no us."

Dante sniffs hard. More uncomfortable silence fills the air before he says, "Tell you what. Why don't you gather all the reasons you're fighting us being together, and we'll talk about it?"

My chest tightens. The last thing I can do is say my complicated feelings about Sean and Dante out loud. I'm also not foolish enough to know my thoughts wouldn't hurt him. Plus, I'm afraid that if I ever did start to spill things, it would lead me to tell him what happened the night of Sean's murder. That would only add another layer of danger to my children, and it's already spiraling out of control.

My lack of an answer only angers Dante. I can't say I blame him. But his sharp tone goes straight to my heart. "Trying to push me away isn't going to stop what's happening between us. I'll see you tomorrow night." He hangs up.

I set the phone down and close my eyes, wishing things were simple and I was the carefree, optimistic, fearless woman I used to be before Sean's death. But how can I ever be her again? My children will always be in harm's way. Now that the O'Malleys are back in their lives, surely Niall and Shamus know.

For hours, my fears take over. Flashbacks of my real-life nightmare never stop. All I see are Sean and me and the mistakes I made that led to his death. I hear Niall and Shamus quietly telling me the new rules and consequences while my children play in the backyard. I feel the rain on my face as Sean's coffin gets lowered to the ground. And I see the grief in the O'Malleys' expressions when I saw them last, and they had no idea what I was about to do.

Then I feel Dante's protective embrace. I see the intensity in his eyes and get confused again about how I could have such strong feelings for another man when I had everything with Sean.

I finally cry myself to sleep. When I wake up the following day, dread digs into my bones. Somehow, I need to figure out how to protect my children, but I no longer know how.

16

Bridget

The car stopsin front of the Marinos' home. Snow covers the ground, and the lit-up mansion feels overwhelming, even though I can see the energy of the party through the windows.

Fiona and Sean have spent the day here, so it's only my father and me. My chest tightens, but it's becoming a normal state for me. I grasp my trembling hands together while taking deep breaths, trying to get fresh oxygen into my lungs.

Our driver opens the door. A cold burst of air hits my face. My father steps out then reaches in to help me on my feet. He guides me up the stairs, and my stomach twists.

Dad nods to the guards, and the door flies open. My nerves turn into shock.

Sean's oldest brother, Declan, has his hand around Jeremy's neck. The O'Malley look of death is plastered on Declan's face. He freezes, staring at me with pain, betrayal, and so many questions in his gaze, my heart instantly hurts.

All the guilt I've felt for so many years snowballs. My lips tremble, and I blink hard, fighting my tears. I instantly want to tell Declan everything, but my father pulls me back into reality.

"What the hell is going on, Declan?" he barks.

Declan's expression returns to anger, but he keeps his focus on me.

"Declan!" Dad exclaims.

He pins his glare on Dad, a new burst of rage erupting like a volcano spurting hot lava in the air. He keeps his hand on Jeremy's neck and seethes, "Have you met this punk?"

Horror and fear fill Jeremy's face. I've never seen him look scared. He's always confident and polite. I'm not sure what occurred that's making Declan act like this, but surely Jeremy wouldn't have done anything to deserve this.

My father cautiously answers, "Yes."

"Declan, let him go," I demand.

Declan scowls at me, creating a new wave of sharp pain in my heart. He declares, "You're not in a position to give orders."

"Watch it," Dad warns.

"Fuck off," Declan growls. "Not only did he have his hands on Fiona's ass, but he also lipped off to my brothers and me. That was while he helped himself to a glass of Angelo's champagne."

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