Page 144 of Toxic

Tense silence fills the air. Anger and surprise appear in both of their expressions. It makes my gut flip again.

Killian grabs my hand. "While we didn't know or understand why your mother made the choices she did, we now do. There's not one O'Malley upset with her. She did everything to protect you both, and it was courageous of her."

The kids both stare at Killian, avoiding my gaze. I wonder if I tell them what Killian, Dad, and I agreed on if it'll even make a difference.

"It has to do with your father's death," Dad blurts out.

Fiona blinks hard. Sean's jaw clenches. It's always been difficult for them to hear anyone mention their father's death. I suppose it will never get easier. Sean inquires, "What about it?"

I confess, "I was there."

The color drains from his face. Fiona's eyes widen.

My chest tightens, but I continue, afraid I'll not be able to go on if I don't. Killian squeezes my hand again, and I declare, "I won't go into all the details. Don't ever ask me to. But I was there. Your uncles Niall and Shamus were in bed with the Rossis and Baileys. There were six of them, including your uncles. They..." I stop, swallowing hard, closing my eyes to try and pull it together.

My father softly interjects, "They made your mother watch. Then they threatened to kill both of you and her, should she not leave Chicago. None of you were to ever return or see the O'Malleys again."

Sean sniffs hard, his eyes glistening. Fiona's tears freely fall.

I wipe my face. "I didn't want to do it. I... I felt like I had no choice."

Sean's voice cracks. "Why didn't you tell someone? Any of the O'Malleys could have helped, or Daideó."

Killian releases my hand and firmly replies, "No. We've all had traitors in our clans—men high up who we would have trusted to hunt down your father's killers. Your mother did the right thing. Over the years, numerous men we would have relied upon to help us seek revenge would have possibly gotten you all killed."

Moments of silence pass. My heart hurts as I watch emotions pass over my children's faces. Fiona finally meets her tear-filled eyes with mine. Fear fills her expression. She sniffles and asks, "So who is coming after us?"

I rise off the couch, sit between my kids, and pull her into my arms. "No one. They're all dead now."

"How do you know?" Sean asks.

I keep my arm locked around Fiona and circle my other around him. "Your uncles and Dante killed them all."

No one speaks for several more minutes. Sean sniffs hard, turning to me. Rage fills his voice. He speaks slowly, with his fists curling in his lap. "What did they do to Dad?"

I struggle to find my voice.

Killian answers for me. "We aren't going into details. What we do want you to know is that your mother did the right thing. She saved all of your lives. This resentment and anger you have toward her needs to end."

Sean's face turns red. His breathing picks up, and he looks at me again. "What did they do to you? While they made you watch?"

I blink fast, willing myself harder than ever before, not to cry.

"Mom?" Fiona whispers.

"They held me down and made me watch," I manage to get out, vowing that this will be the last time I don't fully tell my kids the truth.

Sean stares at me as if he doesn't fully believe me. Fiona takes a deep breath, and I'm not sure if she's buying it, either.

"Can we all agree to let the past be the past and move forward?" Killian asks.

The silence resumes as my pulse quickens. Maybe I was right, and my kids never will forgive me. I finally choke out, "I'm sorry. I truly am. Please. You have to forgive me." My tears finally fall.

"You're lucky you have a mother who loves you so much she'll do anything to protect you," Killian declares. "Stop being stubborn."

Fiona throws her arms around me, sobbing. "I'm sorry, Mom. I-I wish I would have known what you went through."

I embrace her, relieved she's hugging me for the first time in what feels like forever. "It's okay, baby. I just want us to move forward."

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