Page 130 of Toxic

She opens her mouth then shuts it.

I shrug out of her grasp. "I'm done." I leave the room, ignoring her plea not to go, and hightailing it through the mansion.

The cold wind whips my face when I step outside, but I barely feel it.

All I can think is there is no future. Everything I've wanted will never be.Shewill never let us be.

No truth has ever been more painful.

26

Bridget

Spring is around the corner,yet the ground is still frozen with traces of snow lingering. It's exactly like how I feel.

Cold.

Dead.

Unable to figure out how to ever get out of the web of lies I've weaved or dispel the fear that plagues me daily.

The crazy part is that over the last month, I felt it lessen. Fiona and Sean acted nicer toward me. Dante and I were in a good place. I convinced myself I could have a future with him, but now, the truth is evident.

He's never going to stop asking me why I made the choices I did or what I know about Sean's death. And I want to tell Fiona and Sean about Dante and me, but I don't know how. They only started being nice to me again. I'm so scared to rock the boat, I can't see the path to do anything that moves my life forward.

All night, I couldn't sleep. Dante filled my thoughts. The sense of loss hit me harder than I ever expected. I tried to figure out how to win him back, but deep down, I know the only thing that will make things right is to tell the truth.

Every fear I've been living with expands. The dread of the Baileys and Rossis, as well as Niall and Shamus, coming after my children feels as sharp as the day they first threatened me.

And now Dante's under my skin. I want to tell him everything and no longer hold this in, but I can't.

Sean wanting to fight in matches doesn't surprise me. He's always wanted it, and I'm fully aware it's in his blood. But refusing to let him get in the ring is the only way I can keep him from the danger of physical harm. Maybe it's stupid, but it's all I have left.

The lack of sleep, too many years of secrets and lies, and the never-ending feeling that I'm going to crack take hold. Everything spins together. The ache in my heart over losing Dante swallows me until I'm struggling to get fresh oxygen in my lungs.

"Bridget, we need to talk," Finn's voice booms.

My pulse races, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

What did I do now?

It's no secret Finn still hates me. Years ago, I never would have thought it was possible. He was like a brother to me.

I find the last ounce of strength I have and spin. "Finn. Brenna. What are you doing here?"

Finn scowls. "I'm here for the truth."

"About what?" I ask, my heart racing so fast, I think I'm going to fall over.

"Everything."

I cross my arms. "What does that mean? I keep telling you I haven't lied to you." I glance at Brenna. My anger over the way my life has turned out and what my children and I have lost whips around me like a tornado. I turn on Brenna and accuse, "You begged me not to tell him we ran into each other, even though I said I wouldn't keep it from him. You made me promise not to say anything until we could figure out a plan so he didn't get killed. Did you not tell him?"

"Of course I did!" Brenna exclaims.

"Don't put this on Brenna," Finn warns.

More rage festers within me. I huff out an exasperated breath. "Just tell me what you want from me, Finn."

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