Page 86 of Tangled Up

When I got home last night, I opened the black box and examined the rings that belonged to my mother. The pear-shaped diamond engagement ring has been freshly cleaned, and it sparkles bluish-white. It has three small baguette stones on each side, and it fits perfectly into the bottom, wedding band, which is a sparkling band of diamonds. It’s all set in white gold, and the image of it glistening on Carly’s finger fills me with pride.

Returning both to the box, I reflect on my conversation with my father. I try to imagine how things would be different if it weren’t for his jealousy and lies. Gripping the steering wheel, I wonder if Carly and I would be married now, if we’d have children.

Scrubbing my fingers across my forehead, I wonder if I would be well. I still haven’t confronted the demons that drove me to Eden.

Tonight, I’ll talk to Carly about what happened the night Tyler died. I’ll tell her the truth and ask her to forgive me. Henry says she will. He says I’m the only one holding it against me.

Speeding down the highway, my mind trips back to that night in the emergency room so long ago.

I was only a first-year resident doing my rotation in the ER. I wasn’t supposed to be treating patients without the oversight of a fully licensed physician. Only, the emergency room doesn’t care about our rules. When the car-crash victim burst through the back doors, it was a chaos of activity.

Nurses shouted for IV fluids. The EMS worker pushing the gurney called out the details of the accident—head-on collision, airbag failure, extreme trauma, blood loss, multiple broken bones, internal injuries, lacerations…

He zeroed in on me and demanded to know which trauma room. I attempted to hold them back, saying we had to wait for Dr. Roberts to return from his break.

“We don’t have time,” the guy shouted. “Where are we taking him?”

“Do we have a name?” The head nurse was beside me with an iPad.

The paramedic’s eyes were fastened on me, waiting for me to tell him where to go, as he said the words that forever changed my life.

“Tyler Covington.”

“Tyler…” His name escaped my lips on a whisper.

Taking a step back, I stared at the mangled body in disbelief. The man who took Carly from me. The man who I’d hated with everything in me ever since the night I went to find her and found him holding her hand.

I wanted him dead, and here he was, dying in front of me.

Unless I broke the rules of my residency. “I’m not supposed to touch him.”

I didn’t want to touch him.

Blood was everywhere, and I stood at a crossroads, facing a decision I never believed I’d have to make.

“We have to do something, Dr. Munroe.” The nurse at my shoulder looked up at me, and I forced myself to move.

Paramedics had already applied a neck brace. Another nurse started an IV drip of fluids and narcotic pain relief. He wasn’t conscious. Then he began gasping for breath, making noises like he was drowning.

“He’s got a collapsed lung. We need to place a chest tube.” My hands didn’t tremble as I moved from his chest up to his face. “Get the X-ray team in here asap. I need a CT scan.”

An orderly raced from the room, just as the heart monitor went off.

“Shit.”Cardiac arrest. I nodded to the defibrillator. “Fire it up. Call the time.”

“He has blunt chest trauma.” The nurse’s words were the final straw.

We couldn’t use the regular machine without causing irreparable damage.

I stepped back, flexing my fists, grinding my jaw as the long, steady beep pierced my ears. Time pressed on with inexorable force. I was losing him, faster through my inaction.

I forced my brain to think, to find the best course of action. “Get me the implantable cardioverter defib.”

“There’s no time.” The nurse stood quietly beside me, watching as the seconds ticked by, as the monitor continued ringing out his final moments. “He’s not going to make it.”

It was like a cannon firing through my chest.

“I don’t know what else to do.” The words slipped from my lips, barely audible as Dr. Roberts burst into the room.

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