This time, I planned on sneaking away with them.
I needed to see Damien with my own eyes.
Feel the warmth of his skin, listen to the beat of his heart. See him breathing.
See himalive.
I would not be helpless.
I was not.
I turned to Mikhail.
He frowned. “What is it,kotyonok?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but all I felt was nausea building and anxiety pressing down on my chest.
I let out a small, frustrated groan.
Why couldn’t I just talk?
Fuck.
I didn’t even realize I was making small whimpering noises until Mikhail reached over and pulled me close to him, my body wetting his t-shirt.
“It’s okay,” he whispered gently.
I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest, even if I didn’t deserve it.
I didn’t deserve anything.
All this time I spent being so angry at Nikolay, even though I knew it was nothing more than a coverup of how angry I was at myself.
Just so damn angry.
My life for Damien’s.
I had wanted to scream at him to leave me with Luca, to not get in that stupid car.
It wasn’t worth it.
Iwasn’t worth it.
What did it matter if I lived or died?
But now, here I was, enjoying the luxury of taking a bath in this enormous mansion, on the edge of the California coast, and Damien—
I let out a small sob.
“It’s okay, baby. I got you. I got you,” Mikhail said.
I shook my head.
He didn’t ask me for much.
All he asked was that I be strong until we get Damien back, and I couldn’t even do it.
I was everything Angelo Agnello said I was.