Page 52 of Wild Cub

Jackson sighs dramatically. “Fine. You want me to admit that I used you? I played you like a puppet, but that was the beginning. I saw what I wanted and after that, my mind wanted nothing else. You, you stubborn ass woman. If you think you can walk away now, you’ve got another thing coming.”

I’m practically in tears, I’m so angry. “I was never yours, you asshole!Youruined us. You did that all on your own.” He steps closer to me, and I step back accordingly. “I am not going to be a fucking pawn in your games any more. I agreed to help gather information because I care about people. I care that the community is no longer safe. But you? I don’t owe you a damn thing. You’re just another demon in my fight.” One last time, he grabs my shoulders and whips me around to grip me.

“Teresa Saoirse.” I smack him hard across the face as he spins me.

“You don’t get to say my name. You lost that right.” Everyone’s staring now, waiting to see what Jackson will do. “Tell Rawlings I’ll be in touch.” My voice shakes, and I turn around to leave.

The faintest of murmurs hits my ears. “I’m not giving up.”

I run until my body hits the car. I struggle to get the damn door open, fidgeting with the handle until I finally pry it open.

Tears sting my eyes. I need to get out of here. I immediately call Reva and Sam to tell them I am taking two days of personal leave. No explanation. Not right now.

He’ll never get it.

I am the way I am because I finally started to love myself. I finally let myself feel again. To know it was all a lie, that I opened up for nothing, is painful. He only proved my point: that when someone sees all my broken pieces, they’ll just use me. .

I try to hold back the tears until I feel safe. I want to crash hard and forget everything. I want to scrub every inch of my body to erase his touch. I get home feeling like an empty shell of myself.

My movements are slow as I make my way through my house, the padding of Seamus’ feet following me. I hear a small whine, like he senses my pain. I gather enough energy to get into bed and barricade myself in my covers. I can hear the ding of my phone as it continues to go off, but I ignore them. I don’t want to feel right now. I feel the sting of tears down my face and try to lull myself to sleep, praying for no dreams.

It's been two days since Jackson’s betrayal. The pain still creeps deeper and deeper into my chest. I’ve gone completely off the grid, and I fully expect someone to break down my door and force me to socialize, take care of myself, or even talk. I don’t know if I have the energy.

The number of text messages, missed calls, and emails that I have gotten is overwhelming. I know my friends are there to help me, but the thought of facing anyone is too much right now. The only message that haunts me is the one from Jackson: “Don’t hide from me, Little Cub. I won’t accept you walking away from me.” He’s still holding out hope, and that scares me.

The doorbell rings, breaking me out of my thoughts. Seamus perks up and walks down the ramp by my bed, spinning at the door, waiting for me to open it. The longer I hesitate, the more the bell rings and a fist pounds on the door. I run through who it could be in my head. Sam and Reva would’ve used the key under the St. Francis statute, Britt would have busted down my door with no hesitation, and any of the club members would just appear like smoke.

Peeking through the peep hole, I see familiar faces that bring joy to my heart. Ellie, Seth, and Jordan. A sigh of relief washes over me. Opening the door, I wrap Ellie in a big hug, which Seth just makes bigger. I mess with Jordan’s hair as he walks by with a pizza in hand. I smile as we part, and I make my way to the couch. Seth looks at me skeptically, surely noting the messy hair and shadowed eyes.

“You wanna talk about it?” he asks.

I shrug. “What’s there to talk about? I let my guard down, started to trust someone I thought could help and come to find out he was sent to manipulate me. What else can I say?” I ramble out. “I feel for him too, like the idiot I am.”

I get up from the couch and head into the kitchen; they need plates and I need Jack.

Seth isn’t buying it. “I heard you let something slip. You neglected to tell him about Aiden, didn’t you?”

I’ve tried not to replay my words in my head, but I can’t help it.Abused and usedmay have caused some concern, I won’t lie. “It was my story to tell.”

At that moment, Ellie asks me to do her hair, almost like she could sense I needed the distraction. I grab a brush and methodically sweep it through her strands as Seth pipes up.

“Just like you have your story, Tess, he has one too.” Seth looks me directly in the eyes as I loop Ellie’s hair into braids. “Maybe you need to let him tell it. I know your heart is broken, but you may not know the whole truth.”

I sigh. Maybe he’s right, but my mind shakes it away. Jackson had his chance. Tears threaten to spill, but I can’t cry in front of Ellie and Jordan. I finish with Ellie’s hair, and I lean into Jordan, squishing him as he plays on his Switch. “Bud, heartbreak sucks.”

“I bet it does. It’s not a good look on you,” he says. I practically snort.

“Then what am I going to do?” He can at least give me some advice if he’s going to be an ass.

“What did you do before him?” I give him a puzzled stare. “Well, you were Tessa before him and you’re going to be Tessa after him.” I look at him, shell-shocked. I quickly shoot Britt a text with an idea.

Me:Time to go short.

Britt:I’ll get the scissors.

I smile; maybe a little change will spark the fire. Another ding sounds from an unknown number, and I click open the message. A video pops up, and I grow wide with concern. I click play- it’s a video showing Seth and the kids at my door, which opens as I let them in. Someone’s watching me.

Unknown:Wouldn’t want anything to happen to little ones. Walk away.

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