Page 42 of Wild Cub

“Tess, Jesus, the zone out moment was real.” Her hands are on her hip, a headset dangling from her neck.

“Sammie, at this moment, I need a mental slap of words.” Not a direct request. In this moment, my past brokenness and old habits are seeping to the surface.

“Like what? How’s being alone in your little pity party?”

“Sam, did I put on this persona of knowing everything, that I can fix everything? My brain has enough squirrels looking around for nuts. Apparently, I can’t do anything right. Am I seriously that blind or have I just been ignoring reality, waiting for someone else to take care of it?” I spew out the words in a rage.

“Wow, your ass must be jealous of all the bullshit you just spoke,” Sam retaliates at me.

“Care to elaborate before I reconsider firing you?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Did shit get complicated and out of your control? Yes. Would you rather things go your way? Yes. Did it? Nope. Did you ever realize that being you is why people come to you? I don’t think they’re asking you to change anything. Just keep fighting and being you. Tess, you got lost. Go be found. Don’t give up now, when you’re so close to finding the solution. This is when we need you the most, not the person you are trying to become.” She lays her hand on my shoulder.

“Tessa, get your fucking head out of your ass and get to work. You have made it this far, keep going.” She pats my cheek playfully.

This is the kick in the guts that I needed to get myself out of this self-induced pity party. I didn’t make myself into this person. I’ve worked too hard to become the person I am today, this strong, balls-to-the-wall, independent, you hurt someone I love and I will injure you person. My life is not a hot mess; it’s a spicy disaster that keeps on giving. Still, Sammie’s right. Why change the person I am if there’s nothing to change?

This is going to be a long day. Techie’s still working on my computer, and lord knows what he’s going to find. I dial Jackson; I’m probably going to get my ass chewed out for turning my phone off and not responding to him, which I still have yet to do. A couple of rings go by, and a voice picks up the other end, a few octaves higher.

“Jackson’s phone.” The little voice rings out. I’ve dealt with callers enough to know when a “teeny-bopper” comes on the phone.

“Excuse me, I’m looking for the owner of this phone.” I hide my true tone before I do something incredibly stupid.

“Oh Mr. Jackson. He’s currently occupied, if you know what I mean. You know, taking care of business.” The high-pitched southern drawl stings my ears, and the giggles just piss me off.

“May I ask who this is?” I’m annoyed, for lack of a better word currently.

“Oh, this is Topaz.” Please tell me that’s her birth name and not some sugar baby bullshit.

I internally groan. “Topaz, dear. Why do you have his phone?”

“He left it with me, told me to keep an ear out. You know, he can be sweet on us, takes care of us and all.” I’m ready to toss a coffee cup across the room.

“Us.”Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.

“Us, waitresses at the bar. Wait, is this Tessa? Aw, he talks about you. It’s nice to talk to you finally.” On any given day, I would want to befriend someone so sweet. But I’m ready to rip the hair off this Topaz. Two can play the possessive game, Alexander. I hang up the phone, raging like a bull seeing red.

“Reva, I need you to come with me somewhere, in case I need an alibi or an accomplice to bury a body.”

“Whose car are we taking, and will I need bail money?” Reva grabs her purse.

“Mine, and we’ll see.” I storm out. I race down the stairs and out the back door.

“Where’re we going?” she asks as we open my car doors.

“We’re going day drinking.” I pull out of the parking lot, spotting my tail. Darius Richard, you better warn your boss that his wild woman is on the warpath.

Chapter 14

ArrivingattheDevil’sWhiskey, I adjust myself. The parking lot is semi-full, keeping up the appearance of a normal bar and “restaurant.” My striped button up shirt, french tucked into my jeans with the top two buttons undone, showing a bit of skin, is just enough to tease. Loosening the bun on my head, I let down my natural waves.

“What’s the plan, boss? Storm the castle? Grab a bitch by the hair?” Reva searches in her purse for a knife, bigger than my pocket one.

“Well, if the big man behind us was smart, he would warn Alexander. But we’re gonna go in, order a couple of drinks, and wait for the explosion.” I tuck my pocketknife into my pocket and keep my sunglasses on.

We walk through the inside seating area and push through the back doors. I don’t care about the stares and whispers that fly our way. A wicked grin comes across my face. I hear a friendly, familiar voice behind the bar out here.

“The wind brought back the spitfire and a beautiful friend. I sense trouble. Aren’t you two supposed to be working?” Johnny says, already pouring me a whiskey and coke.

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